If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.
There is no shortage which need to changed in my hometown. However, if I got an opportunity to change one thing then I would like to build more parks and green space. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, parks held to relax people and serenity, both these two lacking in today's world. In my hometown people lived in high-rise apartments where there is only small area to breathe in. In most of the cases these sort of compact area leads to health problem, which develop anxiety among the people. My own experience is compelling example of this. About three years ago, I moved to New Delhi for my Job. The apartment where I used to stay there was no park, no proper road but in stead it was fill with street vendor with local products and all apartment were so close to each other that we can hear what neighbors are talking. After few months, I got anxiety, I could not think of staying there for any longer. However, after few months I shifted to near by office area. There was a huge park, water lake in middle which makes me feel like I am alive. In time, I start to feel better. This example demonstrates how important is to have park and good space.
Secondly, children and adults can go to park for walking and to have fun out-door activities. It's a good place to release all your tension and it will make bond stronger between children and parents. For instance, I have a friend who grew up in modern city. She used to tell me how frustrating the environment there in the city was with all buildings around. I remember she used to describe it feels like in jail. She stayed at home in leisure time, no friends to play around, even her parents did not have time for her. So, the relation between her and her parent became like a stranger. She started falling illness. However, due to her illness, her parents decided to take her back to the village to give her a time. In sometime, of course, she start to feel better. She spends a lot of time in forest . Her bond with her parents also increase, they became close to each other. So, this example of my friend says that spending time in nature heals all wound.
In conclusion, if I got one wish to change in my society I would like to change the environment by building lots of parks. This is because parks are best place to relax, and because it helps to create bond with everyone.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
There is no shortage which need to chang...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ll explore in the following essay. First of all, parks held to relax people...
^^
Line 5, column 218, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this sort' or 'these nulls'?
Suggestion: this sort; these nulls
...rea to breathe in. In most of the cases these sort of compact area leads to health problem...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 762, Rule ID: NEAR_BY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nearby'?
Suggestion: nearby
... However, after few months I shifted to near by office area. There was a huge park, wat...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 948, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'parked'.
Suggestion: parked
...e demonstrates how important is to have park and good space. Secondly, childre...
^^^^
Line 9, column 96, Rule ID: IT_IS[17]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: It's; It is
...ng and to have fun out-door activities. Its a good place to release all your tensio...
^^^
Line 9, column 749, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'starts'.
Suggestion: starts
...her a time. In sometime, of course, she start to feel better. She spends a lot of tim...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 805, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...tter. She spends a lot of time in forest . Her bond with her parents also increase...
^^
Line 13, column 147, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[4]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'are the best'.
Suggestion: are the best
...ng lots of parks. This is because parks are best place to relax, and because it helps to...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, then, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, of course, sort of, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 80.0 52.1666666667 153% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1966.0 1977.66487455 99% => OK
No of words: 448.0 407.700716846 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.38839285714 4.8611393121 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60065326758 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.26159148777 2.67179642975 85% => OK
Unique words: 243.0 212.727598566 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.542410714286 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 610.2 618.680645161 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 20.0 9.59856630824 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.6003584229 141% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.6373427945 48.9658058833 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 67.7931034483 100.406767564 68% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.4482758621 20.6045352989 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.41379310345 5.45110844103 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.5376344086 163% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.112586113346 0.236089414692 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0290516174103 0.076458572812 38% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0460706745445 0.0737576698707 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0899674982777 0.150856017488 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0471702844755 0.0645574589148 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.0 11.7677419355 59% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 73.17 58.1214874552 126% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.8 10.1575268817 67% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.89 10.9000537634 72% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.16 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.