If you could make one important change in educational system of your country, what change would you make? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.
It goes without saying that, the educational system of every community plays a conspicuous role in shaping of thoughts, attitudes and behaviors of a society. There are numerous controversial debates among practitioners that educational system is not as productive as it has to be. However some scholars think the traditional and old-fashion educational system is more fruitful, I consider that some little changes in educational system would make a lot different results. Updated methods and techniques of teaching and recruitment of more energetic and refresh teachers are two of the most significant modifications in the educational system and in what follows, I will substantiate my point of view in detail.
The first and foremost reason which needs to be investigated thoroughly is modify the methods and techniques of teaching toward more constructive forms. In such a progressive world we live in, human beings are looking for the most innovative and novel approach to be more informative. It is undeniable that the existed policy according to which the teachers have to follow the predetermined techniques that have been dictated to them is not trustable anymore. Using high-tech methods is one of the most possibilities to change the method of teaching. For instance, the availability of network and computers have made a comfortable space for students to broaden their perspectives and get more online information beside their traditional materials. Moreover, through the use of more innovative facilities such as smart phones and video projectors, teachers have been able to improve their teaching quality. To put it in a more vivid picture, I should mention one of my courses in the university in which my professor handled an online video chat to teach us the surplus materials in order to find out deeply about the subject. Not only was it very formative, but also other professors started using this method and it became widespread.
The second reason is that older teachers should be retired and more fresh and updated teachers should be on service. Unfortunately, the ongoing system considers this premise that the older the teacher, the better results of teaching. Although the experienced teachers are preferred, the up-to-date instructors should be recruited since they are more ambitious and motivated to teach. The society would be prosper in the presence of these constructive instructors. A statistic research reveals that students prefer younger teachers because they can make relationship with updated teachers. However, the elders are not energetic and the repel students from classrooms.
To put it briefly, contemplating all reasons and factors, it can be concluded that the present society needs the educational system with more fertile methods and more ambitious teachers to reach the full potential and guarantee the flourishing of the society.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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| 2019-08-26 | zhrnrz-1992 | 85 | view |
| 2017-09-22 | mahdyarghaeminia | 73 | view |
- TOEFL Sample essay : integrated essay from TPO 11 88
- Integrated writing TPO 19 88
- TPO 10 The sea otter is a small mammal that lives in waters along the western coast of North America from California to Alaska. When some sea otter populations off the Alaskan coast started rapidly declining a few years ago, it caused much concern because 80
- Toefl TPO 16 80
- TOEFL TPO 16 Integrated Writing Task 65
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 282, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...m is not as productive as it has to be. However some scholars think the traditional and...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 76, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'modified'.
Suggestion: modified
... needs to be investigated thoroughly is modify the methods and techniques of teaching ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 632, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...wever, the elders are not energetic and the repel students from classrooms. To put it b...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, briefly, but, first, however, if, look, moreover, second, so, as to, for instance, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 43.0788530466 79% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2431.0 1977.66487455 123% => OK
No of words: 451.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.39024390244 4.8611393121 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60833598836 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.03249915914 2.67179642975 114% => OK
Unique words: 236.0 212.727598566 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.523281596452 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 764.1 618.680645161 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 10.0 3.08781362007 324% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.5567342646 48.9658058833 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.947368421 100.406767564 127% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.7368421053 20.6045352989 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.05263157895 5.45110844103 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.123322166454 0.236089414692 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0403650312315 0.076458572812 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0466393364977 0.0737576698707 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0818715676349 0.150856017488 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0548079247772 0.0645574589148 85% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 11.7677419355 134% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 58.1214874552 68% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.28 10.9000537634 131% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.5 8.01818996416 118% => OK
difficult_words: 135.0 86.8835125448 155% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 16.0 10.002688172 160% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 10.247311828 156% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 85.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.