If you could make one important change in a school that you attended, what
change would you make? Use reasons and specific examples to support your
answer.
Schools are where people start to think about their life and career that’s why it is very important to prepare each school to meet the learning environment. If I could make one change in the college that I attend, I would make the dorms compulsory for the students. Because dorms offer a good shift from childhood to adulthood, and they also give opportunity to meet and befriend other students. I will detail my reasons in the next paragraphs.
The first reason is that it will help students transition from childhood to adulthood. This will be the first time they have to be without the guardianship of their parents. This time will allow them to discover things about their personalities and make life choices. For instance, I depended all my school years on my parent until I reached the School of Pharmacy. Even though, it was my decision to join that college but I had acted like a child through all these years. So when I entered college I joined the dorm which totally changed me. I started to live independently which surprised my parents and even me because I wasn’t expecting that I could wash my clothes, clean my room and cook. Then I felt confident to take vital decisions in my life without hesitation.
Secondly, dorms give chance to meet and befriend other students since they offer great social environment for everybody, no matter what their race, religion and background. For example, the dorm that I used to live in was very big and it had students not only from medical colleges but also from non medical colleges. We all had a strong bond and we never asked each other about our race or religion. That unique friendship which took place at that time is until now even though some of us migrate to different countries but we still renuion every year and whoever is available in the country at that time attend the party.
In conclusion, if my college will take this point in consideration; a big change was going to happen. The transition of the student personality to the adulthood and the social environment that provided in the dorm are the reasons why I chose that change to happen in the school housing system.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-11-08 | Noha M. Aburass | 66 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 474, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[3]
Message: “So when” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...d like a child through all these years. So when I entered college I joined the dorm whi...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, secondly, so, still, then, for example, for instance, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 58.0 43.0788530466 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1789.0 1977.66487455 90% => OK
No of words: 377.0 407.700716846 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.74535809019 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4064143971 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60823509907 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.519893899204 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 543.6 618.680645161 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.4352408501 48.9658058833 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.3888888889 100.406767564 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9444444444 20.6045352989 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.38888888889 5.45110844103 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.10511662261 0.236089414692 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0387375885269 0.076458572812 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0606133963264 0.0737576698707 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0780481993491 0.150856017488 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0604524385718 0.0645574589148 94% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 11.7677419355 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.27 10.9000537634 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.6 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 86.8835125448 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.