Whether or not to provide money as an present for school-age kids when they get good grade on their homework or tests is always a controvertial issue. Personally, I believe that giving attractive gifts or money can prompt children to do their best, which usually leads to a positive result. I feel this way for several reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, no matter how old a kid is, there is always a need for being encouraged. Especially as a student, at the age that most of his whole life focus is studying, getting a positive feedback when he does well in school is absolutely important. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. Because I don't have any pocket money, I feel more inspiring and energetic when there is an explicit amount of money to get. If I can get my own pocket money by achieving high score on all tests, I will dedicate myself thoroughly to studying and enjoy the result. Actually, I really perform well in school. I graduated as the top rank student.
Secondly, students can have a better performance in school when they have the appropriate tools, which always need money to buy. Like a cook who needs sharp knifes and proper pots to make delicious dishes, it is necessary to make good use of the studying related tools. For instance, colorfful pens and beautiful booklets make me study better than without them. To take clear notes which are easy to understand the difficult concepts, different colors play vital roles. When I learn a new grammar rule, I will use blue color to write down the whole sentence. Then, I make the special grammer rule to be underlined by yellow.
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- TPO 40 Integrated Writing Task 70
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'Whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: Whether
Whether or not to provide money as an present for scho...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 36, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
Whether or not to provide money as an present for school-age kids when they g...
^^
Line 3, column 318, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...a compelling example of this. Because I dont have any pocket money, I feel more insp...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, first, if, really, second, secondly, so, then, well, for instance, i feel, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 43.0788530466 65% => OK
Preposition: 29.0 52.1666666667 56% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1364.0 1977.66487455 69% => OK
No of words: 292.0 407.700716846 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.67123287671 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.13376432452 4.48103885553 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58085609145 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 212.727598566 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.640410958904 0.524837075471 122% => OK
syllable_count: 427.5 618.680645161 69% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.5875627631 48.9658058833 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.25 100.406767564 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.25 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0625 5.45110844103 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.53405017921 66% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.217617786586 0.236089414692 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0623662941558 0.076458572812 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0560578430426 0.0737576698707 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.153154936825 0.150856017488 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.062092642996 0.0645574589148 96% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.7 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.81 10.9000537634 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.94 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 86.8835125448 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'Whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: Whether
Whether or not to provide money as an present for scho...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 36, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
Whether or not to provide money as an present for school-age kids when they g...
^^
Line 3, column 318, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...a compelling example of this. Because I dont have any pocket money, I feel more insp...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, first, if, really, second, secondly, so, then, well, for instance, i feel, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 43.0788530466 65% => OK
Preposition: 29.0 52.1666666667 56% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1364.0 1977.66487455 69% => OK
No of words: 292.0 407.700716846 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.67123287671 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.13376432452 4.48103885553 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58085609145 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 212.727598566 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.640410958904 0.524837075471 122% => OK
syllable_count: 427.5 618.680645161 69% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.5875627631 48.9658058833 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.25 100.406767564 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.25 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0625 5.45110844103 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.53405017921 66% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.217617786586 0.236089414692 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0623662941558 0.076458572812 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0560578430426 0.0737576698707 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.153154936825 0.150856017488 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.062092642996 0.0645574589148 96% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.7 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.81 10.9000537634 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.94 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 86.8835125448 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.