It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation.
There is a debate surrounding governments spending, whether they should spend money to improve internet access than to improve public transportation or not. In my view, both of them should not be supported by governments for the following reasons.
To begin with, I think that governments should spend money to improve education rather than internet and public transportation.This is because the education in Thailand is very terrible. I was a student who educated in Thailand. From my experience, I had to study by myself after school almost every night. Moreover, in weekend, I have to spend my time to study at tutorial school. As a result, My parent have to spend a large amount of money for education. Furthermore, in the rural area, some people do not have a opportunity to study as teachers are limited. Some people have to spend a half day to travel to school. This is a dramatically problem that governments should concern first. Therefore, governments should spend a plenty of cash to improve education. They should hire more teacher and build more school to provide for student in rural area.
In addition, Health care is something that governments should concern the second. From the research, they found that most of aging people have to face health problem such as hearth attack, cancer, obesity. As a result, older people have to spend a large amount of their saving for healthcare. Eventually, they will not have money left to spend with basic need such as clothes, house, food. Consequently, government should spend more money to build hospital and have a policy to support these people such as tax reduction for medical care.
In the nutshell, some people argue that government should spend money on improving internet and transportation. On the other hand, I believe that education and health care are something that government should take care of first.
- TOEFL T P O 3 Integrated Writing Task 17
- It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. 60
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- TPO49 integrated 3
- Both the lecture and the author focus on Rembrandt's paintings, but express opposing viewpoints. Whereas the author mentions that there are some reasons with his work that suggest he did not paint by himself, the professor strongly disagree with that 70
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 128, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...than internet and public transportation.This is because the education in Thailand is...
^^^^
Line 5, column 515, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...the rural area, some people do not have a opportunity to study as teachers are li...
^
Line 5, column 629, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('dramatically') instead an adjective, or a noun ('problem') instead of another adjective.
...a half day to travel to school. This is a dramatically problem that governments should concern first. ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, furthermore, moreover, second, so, therefore, i think, in addition, such as, as a result, in my view, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 43.0788530466 60% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1578.0 1977.66487455 80% => OK
No of words: 311.0 407.700716846 76% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07395498392 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.19942759058 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8425564861 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 150.0 212.727598566 71% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.48231511254 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 477.0 618.680645161 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.9591768256 48.9658058833 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.0526315789 100.406767564 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.3684210526 20.6045352989 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.15789473684 5.45110844103 150% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.379257693522 0.236089414692 161% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.123951393665 0.076458572812 162% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.138089534542 0.0737576698707 187% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.275125162762 0.150856017488 182% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.100428722481 0.0645574589148 156% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 11.7677419355 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.83 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.32 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 57.0 86.8835125448 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.