Nowadays children rely too much on the technology, like computers, smartphone, video games for fun and entertainment; playing more simple toys or playing outside with friends would be better for children's development.
People have different views about how much involved children should be with the technology. While some argue that it would be better for kids to be in contact with technology from the very beginning, I believe that families should force their children to play both with traditional toys, and outside the home because it makes them healthier, it improves their thinking capability, and it helps them make friends.
One of the primary causes is that because of technology, today's children are exposed to higher risks of illnesses. In fact, playing in traditional ways increases the children's physical health. For example, a 4 year old kid who spends 8 hours a day playing computer games, or watching TV, naturally, transforms to a couch potato. Consequently, he/she suffers obesity which will result in high risk of heart attack at older ages. Thus, the new trends of children's playing jeopardize future generation's health.
Another aspect to consider is that people who are use to play computer games and to watch television has lower intellectual abilities. For instance, if some child spends a lot of time on computer games, he/she their brain will lose imagination to some extent. It is apparent that highly developed graphical pictures deprive children from relying on their own creativity. Imagination is not only important for children to develop artistic dexterity, but also it is critical in learning mathematics. Hence, children who are somehow addicted to computer games suffer inadequate performance in arts and mathematics in the future.
Finally, the passe approaches of playing provide children with an outstanding opportunity for making friends. Today's games usually do not require more than two participants, however, traditional games were including a lot of participants. Children came out of their homes, creating groups of four or five members, performing some ebullient and active games. During this games they became familiar with each other, and was able to make good relationships. For example, I am still in contact with some of the friends whom I knew while playing football in early childhood.
In conclusion, although some argue that the current method of children extreme dependence on computers and television is beneficial for them, I, personally, prefer the past ways which incorporated simpler toys and playing in groups. The reasons for that are improved health, enhanced mental performance, and having more friends.
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- Describing the ways in which elephants fascinate humans - TPO51 76
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ility, and it helps them make friends. One of the primary causes is that becaus...
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Line 2, column 492, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'generations'' or 'generation's'?
Suggestion: generations'; generation's
... of childrens playing jeopardize future generations health. Another aspect to consider ...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... jeopardize future generations health. Another aspect to consider is that peopl...
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Line 3, column 46, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...other aspect to consider is that people who are use to play computer games and to watch...
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Line 3, column 54, Rule ID: BE_USE_TO_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'used'?
Suggestion: used
...pect to consider is that people who are use to play computer games and to watch tel...
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Line 3, column 54, Rule ID: USE_TO_VERB[1]
Message: Did you mean 'used'?
Suggestion: used
...pect to consider is that people who are use to play computer games and to watch tel...
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Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...in arts and mathematics in the future. Finally, the passe approaches of playing...
^^^
Line 4, column 368, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...some ebullient and active games. During this games they became familiar with each ot...
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Line 4, column 498, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...For example, I am still in contact with some of the friends whom I knew while playing footb...
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Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e playing football in early childhood. In conclusion, although some argue that ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, finally, hence, however, if, so, still, thus, while, for example, for instance, in conclusion, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 43.0788530466 70% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2067.0 1977.66487455 105% => OK
No of words: 387.0 407.700716846 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.34108527132 4.8611393121 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43534841618 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8404010043 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.607235142119 0.524837075471 116% => OK
syllable_count: 629.1 618.680645161 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.4150294123 48.9658058833 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.789473684 100.406767564 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3684210526 20.6045352989 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.68421052632 5.45110844103 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.5376344086 181% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.344820280166 0.236089414692 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.101060594219 0.076458572812 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0528312929584 0.0737576698707 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.191348024087 0.150856017488 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0332692333266 0.0645574589148 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 11.7677419355 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.69 10.9000537634 126% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.24 8.01818996416 115% => OK
difficult_words: 113.0 86.8835125448 130% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.