Responsibility is one of the most important aspects of our character. If we have responsibility for what we are doing, we can gain success and everyone can trust our decisions. Some people think that children should learn to manage their own money at a young age in order to become financially responsible adults, Others disagree. Although it might have some disadvantage, in my view children should learn for two important reasons.
First, it helps children to improve. If children know how to manage their own money, they going to learn how to manage their lives when they grow up. For example, When I was a child, I gave some few money from my father that it gave me a chance to buy some little things that I want such as ice cream. But if I wanted to buy better things such as a ball, I should keep my money for a couple of days to buy a ball. But I wasn't able to do that and I spent my money right away. One day my father bought a close vase that we called Gholak. It used for gathering money and I saved my money there some times. After two months, my father broke the Gholak and gave me all the money that I saved there. with that money, I could buy a ball. After I grow up because I learned the concept of managing the money I could buy my house. this experience taught me that children should learn to manage their own money.
Second, children grow up in their own feet. If children learn how to manage their money, they can manage other things and they can grow up as a person that everyone can trust them because they know how to deal with hard conditions. For instance, I grow up in a family with low income and we must pay attention to our Expenditure. So we learned how to manage our money and when I grow up, I was able to manage my life either. As a result, when I hired in a company, I was able to manage my section and it helps me a lot to become a good employee. As you can clearly see, it helps children grow up in their feet.
In sum, I think children should learn for two important reasons, not only it helps children to improve, but also it helps children grow up in their own feet. So I think parent must pay attention to learning children to manage their own money.
- Genetic modification, a process used to change an organism’s genes and hence its characteristics, is now being used to improve trees. Through genetic modification, it is possible to create trees that produce more fruits, grow faster, or withstand advers 60
- One of the threats to endangered sea turtle species is the use of nets by commercial shrimp-fishing boats. When turtles get accidentally caught in the nets, they cannot rise to the surface of the ocean to breathe, and they die. Some people suggest that t 76
- TOEFL T P O 21 - Integrated Writing Task 3
- Pterosaurs were an ancient group of winged reptiles that lived alongside the dinosaurs. Many pterosaurs were very large, some as large as a giraffe and with a wingspan of over 12 meters. Paleontologists have long wondered whether large pterosaurs were cap 78
- TOEFL T P O 15 - Integrated Writing Task 3
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 196, Rule ID: MANY_FEW_UNCOUNTABLE[2]
Message: Use 'much' or 'little' with uncountable nouns.
Suggestion: much; little
...xample, When I was a child, I gave some few money from my father that it gave me a ...
^^^
Line 3, column 196, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[6]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun money seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'little money'.
Suggestion: little money
...xample, When I was a child, I gave some few money from my father that it gave me a chance...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 421, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...r a couple of days to buy a ball. But I wasnt able to do that and I spent my money ri...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 695, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: With
...ve me all the money that I saved there. with that money, I could buy a ball. After I...
^^^^
Line 3, column 822, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...anaging the money I could buy my house. this experience taught me that children shou...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, so, for example, for instance, i think, such as, as a result, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 15.1003584229 33% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 78.0 43.0788530466 181% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1781.0 1977.66487455 90% => OK
No of words: 421.0 407.700716846 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.23040380048 4.8611393121 87% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52971130743 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.32339980413 2.67179642975 87% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 212.727598566 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.396674584323 0.524837075471 76% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 551.7 618.680645161 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 10.0 3.51792114695 284% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.0955399967 48.9658058833 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 77.4347826087 100.406767564 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.3043478261 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.4347826087 5.45110844103 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.282584574488 0.236089414692 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.103467091714 0.076458572812 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0975828122403 0.0737576698707 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.199056069149 0.150856017488 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0391532528967 0.0645574589148 61% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.6 11.7677419355 65% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 78.59 58.1214874552 135% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.8 10.1575268817 67% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.25 10.9000537634 67% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.22 8.01818996416 78% => OK
difficult_words: 45.0 86.8835125448 52% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.