The music is the beutiful thing in the life which i can enjoy with it. There are studies that said the baby in his mom tommy enjoyes and dances when he hear a music. Music sometimes it reveals to stories, news, relations. So it's so important and the following discussions reveal my view.
First of all, sometimes the music mix with feelings especially when it remind us to special person in our life, such as when we are heard this music with our best friend, so each time we heard this music it will remind us to the nice days that we spent it with this friend.
Second, when we heard music which was part of our happieness so it's difficult to forget it and already when we heard this song again we will have mix feelings related to that event. For instance i remembered the song that was playing at my engagement party when we entered the hall and all people looked at us i can't forget this moment and this song. It lets me happy each time i heard it.
Last but not least, sometimes when we heard music, it makes us relax.A lot of peoples at spa they are hearing soft music to be relax, they travell with it to another place. Which is quite , nice.
To put everything in nut shell, i see hearing music is an important issue. It's remind us with special persons in our life, special event, and to makes us relax. So we can't get away from the music and it's the best friend to me in my home, my car, parties. I feel happy when i hear it.
- TOEFL Sample essay : integrated essay from TPO 12 60
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- TPO17 integrated 70
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The music is the beutiful thing in the life which i can enjoy with it.
The music is the beautiful thing in the life which i can enjoy with.
The music is the beautiful thing in the life. I can enjoy with it.
hen he hear a music.
hen he hears a music.
Music sometimes it reveals to stories, news, relations
Music sometimes reveals to stories, news, relations
when we are heard this music with our best friend
when we heard this music with our best friends
A lot of peoples at spa they are hearing soft music to be relax,
Description: what is the subject for this sentence? can you re-write this sentence?
It's remind us with special persons
It reminds us with special persons
Sentence: There are studies that said the baby in his mom tommy enjoyes and dances when he hear a music.
Description: The fragment he hear a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace hear with verb, past tense
Sentence: ... and to makes us relax.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to to and makes
Sentence: The music is the beutiful thing in the life which i can enjoy with it.
Error: beutiful Suggestion: beautiful
Sentence: There are studies that said the baby in his mom tommy enjoyes and dances when he hear a music.
Error: enjoyes Suggestion: enjoyed
Sentence: Second, when we heard music which was part of our happieness so it's difficult to forget it and already when we heard this song again we will have mix feelings related to that event.
Error: happieness Suggestion: happiness
Sentence: Last but not least, sometimes when we heard music, it makes us relax.A lot of peoples at spa they are hearing soft music to be relax, they travell with it to another place.
Error: travell Suggestion: travel
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Different Words: 136 200 //memorize more words
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 16 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 278 350
No. of Characters: 1132 1500
No. of Different Words: 136 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.083 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.072 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.036 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 53 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 36 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 18 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 14 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.857 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.474 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.362 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.588 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.176 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5