Playing computer is a wast of time. Children should not be allowed to play them.
Agree or disagree?
Technology has exponentially been uplited the standard of living, and this advancing frontier is not curtail with computer and virtual games because human life without technology is unimiginative. while some people believe that playing computer games has negative effect on the children, there are others holding the idea spending time with computer games is exciting leisure time for any kids. As far as from my perspective, playing computer games is unsuitable way of life for child and should not allowed to play in that not only do children's healthy lifestyle is threatened by playing computer games, but also offspring has not enough time for experiencing social life.
The first reason, which should be maintained here is that children are at stack of unhealthy events via spending time with computer games. In a matter of fact, children should spend long time for enjoying from computer games. It would be provide sedentary lifestyle that are dangerous for youngers owing to lack of activity work. For example, in these days at Iran, heart attacks and Diabetes rating among young people are increased. Furthermore, children encounter with wide range of physical disorders thereby playing virtual games since they pay clos attention to screen and never move for several hours. That hurts to their body like vision or concentration disorders. Scientistics argued that radiation from screen impact on brain and eye directly, and then kisd cannot treatment their medical problem forever.
Another factor, which deserves to be considered is that children have no enough chance for participating in public life. In that case, youngers miss any opportunity for practicing their independency in social and financial regards reasoning that they never spend time beside other children for encountering with complicated problem. It is argued that they have not enough time for proving their personal ability to parents for debuting independent lifestyle. Additionally, offspring do not learn crucial and necessary social etteqeets for making prestigious social status. Children cannot share their ideas with others, and it causes they to be social isolation. To illustrate, they should take a part time job during teenager while it depends on amount of participation in society. They make an opportunity for spending time beside their co-worker for making close relationship, and then they earn a hoard of money for starting independent life.
To put everything in a nutshell, playing computer games missing any chance for flourishing talents and enjoying from life: therefore, parents should be mticlouse about children's timing scudual for playing virtual game and other important chores.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2015-09-10 | Samar 1984 | 53 | view |
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- TPO 29, Integrated 70
not only do children's healthy lifestyle is threatened by playing computer games
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?
It would be provide sedentary lifestyle that are dangerous
It would provide sedentary lifestyles that are dangerous
playing computer games missing any chance for flourishing talents and enjoying from life:
playing computer games is missing any chance for flourishing talents and enjoying from life:
Description: check books how to use 'flourish'
Sentence: Scientistics argued that radiation from screen impact on brain and eye directly, and then kisd cannot treatment their medical problem forever.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to cannot and treatment
Sentence: Children cannot share their ideas with others, and it causes they to be social isolation.
Description: The tag a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by to
Suggestion: Refer to they and to
Sentence: Technology has exponentially been uplited the standard of living, and this advancing frontier is not curtail with computer and virtual games because human life without technology is unimiginative. while some people believe that playing computer games has negative effect on the children, there are others holding the idea spending time with computer games is exciting leisure time for any kids.
Error: unimiginative Suggestion: unimaginable
Error: uplited Suggestion: ?
Sentence: It would be provide sedentary lifestyle that are dangerous for youngers owing to lack of activity work.
Error: youngers Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Furthermore, children encounter with wide range of physical disorders thereby playing virtual games since they pay clos attention to screen and never move for several hours.
Error: clos Suggestion: close
Sentence: Scientistics argued that radiation from screen impact on brain and eye directly, and then kisd cannot treatment their medical problem forever.
Error: kisd Suggestion: kids
Sentence: In that case, youngers miss any opportunity for practicing their independency in social and financial regards reasoning that they never spend time beside other children for encountering with complicated problem.
Error: independency Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: youngers Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Additionally, offspring do not learn crucial and necessary social etteqeets for making prestigious social status.
Error: etteqeets Suggestion: ?
Sentence: To put everything in a nutshell, playing computer games missing any chance for flourishing talents and enjoying from life: therefore, parents should be mticlouse about children's timing scudual for playing virtual game and other important chores.
Error: scudual Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: mticlouse Suggestion: close
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 417 350
No. of Characters: 2231 1500
No. of Different Words: 231 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.519 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.35 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.666 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 176 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 131 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.529 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.396 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.314 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.489 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.062 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5