Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People should focus on the happiness of others instead of their own happiness.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your response.
Although some people tend to believe that happiness of other ought to be a priority for any person, I adhere to another viewpoint. Personal happiness should be put ahead because it is a realistic and achievable goal which has positive consequences on person’s health.
To begin with, a mind of another person is a puzzle or riddle which cannot be solved, at the same time, our mind is an open map to which we have a complete access. In other words, our happiness is an achievable goal because we always can look at our desires and understand what we ought to do in order to achieve a feeling of happiness. For instance, recently I had a car accident. I violated a traffic law and hit another car. I was deeply upset because of this situation. I couldn’t believe that I neglected an obvious rule and committed a collision. Although, my parents and girlfriend tried to cheer me up, their attempts failed completely. However, I know myself quite well. Thus, I decided to go to a water pool, this physical activity and a nice meal with a chocolate cake and strong coffee made me happy again. This example illustrates that our happiness is our business because only we have all needed knowledge about our desires and mind.
The second reason to focus on your happiness is that feeling of happiness is connected with health. I assume that everyone understands and accepts that health is important for any person. It is well-known for centuries that feeling of happiness is tied to people’s health, in fact, I might support this idea from my own experience, several years ago I contracted a severe virus which made me feel really sick. Although, I used drugs which were given me by a therapist, I kept feeling exhausted and depressed. The situation changed dramatically after I made a decision to cheer myself up. I ordered my favorite food in a local restaurant; moreover, I tried to make myself feel better my any means. As a result, the next day I felt myself much healthier and happier at the same time, I am sure that this feeling of happiness was a key to my health and without it the illness might have continued for much longer period of time.
Finally, I am prone to assume that personal happiness has a positive impact on people who are near the happy person. I think that each of us look at his or her own experience we will unavoidably find support for this statement. For instance, when my girlfriend is happy and she is positive, I feel myself good as well. By contrast, when she is irritated or upset, it is uncomfortable to be near her. Thus, if we concentrate our efforts on our happiness, we will positively effect on other people with whom we interact.
In conclusion, our happiness ought to be in focus because it is an achievable goal which leads to health and happiness of others.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
we will positively effect on other people
we will positively affect on other people
flaws:
First two examples are very similar.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 499 350
No. of Characters: 2240 1500
No. of Different Words: 240 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.726 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.489 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.617 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 160 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.96 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.404 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.56 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.325 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.484 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.151 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 146, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[3]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'complete access'.
Suggestion: complete access
...ur mind is an open map to which we have a complete access. In other words, our happiness is an ac...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 475, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...deeply upset because of this situation. I couldn't believe that I neglected ...
^
Line 5, column 916, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...ss might have continued for much longer period of time. Finally, I am prone to assume that ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 474, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[7]
Message: Did you mean 'affect'?
Suggestion: affect
...ts on our happiness, we will positively effect on other people with whom we interact. ...
^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['finally', 'however', 'if', 'look', 'moreover', 'really', 'second', 'so', 'thus', 'well', 'for instance', 'i feel', 'i think', 'in conclusion', 'in fact', 'as a result', 'in other words', 'to begin with']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.191489361702 0.229887763892 83% => OK
Verbs: 0.16134751773 0.158761421928 102% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0780141843972 0.0866891130778 90% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0443262411348 0.046263068375 96% => OK
Pronouns: 0.11524822695 0.0685040099705 168% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.113475177305 0.118717715034 96% => OK
Participles: 0.0212765957447 0.0351676179071 61% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.77510984603 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0336879432624 0.0309702414327 109% => OK
Particles: 0.00354609929078 0.00188951952338 188% => OK
Determiners: 0.0797872340426 0.0887237588012 90% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0177304964539 0.0209618222197 85% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0195035460993 0.0139019557991 140% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2821.0 2387.08602151 118% => OK
No of words: 498.0 408.028673835 122% => OK
Chars per words: 5.66465863454 5.86048508987 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72397222731 4.48200974243 105% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.329317269076 0.338922669872 97% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.253012048193 0.251872472559 100% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.166666666667 0.174417080927 96% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.130522088353 0.112833075102 116% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77510984603 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 247.0 212.727598566 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.495983935743 0.524397521467 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 58.0569447885 59.2087087015 98% => OK
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6684587814 121% => OK
Sentence length: 19.92 20.5533526081 97% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.9358764098 48.84282405 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.84 120.699889404 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.92 20.5533526081 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.72 0.644075263715 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.54480286738 72% => OK
Readability: 45.2212048193 45.7405998639 99% => OK
Elegance: 1.01657458564 1.45489161554 70% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.291955245781 0.300154397459 97% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.07577148962 0.103427244359 73% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0715728174098 0.0752933317313 95% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.415798154495 0.497263757937 84% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.196914073362 0.151897553556 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0906802889542 0.114077575197 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0734100254032 0.0781384742642 94% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.287268089927 0.336927656856 85% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0736394571853 0.067059652881 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.197012541464 0.210909579961 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0235028196111 0.0618886996521 38% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8870967742 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.86379928315 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.91756272401 20% => More neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 15.0 8.42114695341 178% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 2.4623655914 81% => OK
Neutral topic words: 1.0 2.75985663082 36% => OK
Total topic words: 18.0 13.6433691756 132% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.