Although sallery is very important to overcome all the payments of our daily life but in my view it doesn't important than make good, strong family. Some peoples are interesting in get job with high sallery even that job let's them leave their family. If it comes to me i prefer to stay with my family and having job with sallery even if they pay me little, family is important thing that's need our attention , we should build it strongly to make the good base i think it's better than making money.
First of all money isn't everything in the life , i know people who have a lot of money but they are not happy , they spent all of there life for making money and now they said we hope to return our life back and to enjoy it well , and didn't leave our family again , now their son's and daughter's get married , they are alone now.
Second, kids need parent more than money , they need parents to direct their life well, to help them take a good decision, i think the money mean nothing if we are loosing family even we collect all the money of the word,for example before 3 years ago my husband recieved a good offer from his company , very good sallery , but he should leave us and go to another state, i refused that, i told him me and your son need you, he cancelled the offer, then after year ,he got another offer from the same company but this one was in our city, i was so happy and my husband too.
To put everything in nut shell, while still arguments for both sides of issue, and some people agreed to leave their family for a good sallery on the other hand other people love to live with their family even the sallery is little,but in my view i see money is not important thing that let us sacrifice by family, i think family need more.
- tpo6 70
- TPO 1, Integrated Writing 70
- agree or disagree: It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. 88
- what is the most important action for the government to take for the protection of environmental problems 1 fund researches on new energy sources such as solar and wind power 2 protect forests and natural wildlife species 3 pass and enforce laws to reduce 46
- TOEFL Sample essay : integrated essay from TPO 10 70
it doesn't important than make good, strong family
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
Some peoples are interesting in get job with high sallery
Some peoples are interesting in jobs with high salary
family is important thing
family is an important thing
if we are loosing family
if we are losing family
money is not important thing
money is not an important thing
Sentence: Although sallery is very important to overcome all the payments of our daily life but in my view it doesn't important than make good, strong family.
Error: sallery Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Some peoples are interesting in get job with high sallery even that job let's them leave their family.
Error: sallery Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: If it comes to me i prefer to stay with my family and having job with sallery even if they pay me little, family is important thing that's need our attention , we should build it strongly to make the good base i think it's better than making money.
Error: sallery Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Second, kids need parent more than money , they need parents to direct their life well, to help them take a good decision, i think the money mean nothing if we are loosing family even we collect all the money of the word,for example before 3 years ago my husband recieved a good offer from his company , very good sallery , but he should leave us and go to another state, i refused that, i told him me and your son need you, he cancelled the offer, then after year ,he got another offer from the
Error: sallery Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: recieved Suggestion: received
Sentence: To put everything in nut shell, while still arguments for both sides of issue, and some people agreed to leave their family for a good sallery on the other hand other people love to live with their family even the sallery is little,but in my view i see money is not important thing that let us sacrifice by family, i think family need more.
Error: sallery Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 16 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 7 15
No. of Words: 337 350
No. of Characters: 1374 1500
No. of Different Words: 162 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.285 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.077 4.6
Word Length SD: 1.923 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 68 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 38 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 18 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 12 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 48.143 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 27.153 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.502 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.759 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.286 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5