There is no doubt that parents attach a much great importance to education these days and they try every way on that children to be successful in schools. Some parents believe that parents should offer money to their children when they get a high grade. In contrast, some people challenges this way. From my perspective, parents should use various ways for incouraging their children rather than they just offer money to their children. The ensuing paragraphs will elaborate my points of view.
First exquisite point to be mentioned is that this way is not efficient in long run. To put in apposite words, the great majority of parents offer money to their children as an incentive while this way is not useful for years. Since the children will be satified from receiving money after years and they need to a new incentive instead of a repetetive one. Moreover, children are likely to ask their parents more money and they do not study untill their parent accept their propose. In better words, giving the money might be a good temporary way to motivate the children, but is does not have a far-reaching impacts in long run.
second point that comes to my mind is that the most of the students are teenager and they have no idea for using this money. In other word, student who receive much money are not capable to use this money in proper ways and they probably squander the money. For example, my uncle is a rich man and he always give money to his son when he get good grads. My cousin just spend the money with their friends and they sometiems do some dangerous and terrible works. For instance, once he bought a motorcyle while he was not allowed to ride a motor cycle since he had no driver lisence. He collided with a car and he broke his leg. Therefore, there is no gaurentee that children do not hurt themeselves when they recieve this money.
Last but not least, when parents give money to children for getting a high grade, they are fostering and training their children falsly. In other word, these children are accoustemd to do their works if they receive money, so they face with some serious problems in future. For example, a person who just study hard for money have no incentive for helping to other people even her friends and parents. She just take care about the money and this is a bad feature for a human. Certainly, people leave her and she become lonely.
In conclusion, contemplating all aforemetoined paragraphs, the giving money to the children is a good way besides other ways not as a permanent way.
- T O E F L - T P O 34 85
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 611, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'impact'?
Suggestion: impact
...en, but is does not have a far-reaching impacts in long run. second point that come...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Second
...a far-reaching impacts in long run. second point that comes to my mind is that the...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 309, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[3]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'gives'.
Suggestion: gives
...e, my uncle is a rich man and he always give money to his son when he get good grads...
^^^^
Line 5, column 339, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'gets'.
Suggestion: gets
...he always give money to his son when he get good grads. My cousin just spend the mo...
^^^
Line 7, column 264, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...so they face with some serious problems in future. For example, a person who just study h...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, first, if, moreover, second, so, therefore, while, for example, for instance, in conclusion, in contrast, no doubt
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 44.0 52.1666666667 84% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2096.0 1977.66487455 106% => OK
No of words: 450.0 407.700716846 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.65777777778 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6057793516 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.39177190374 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.464444444444 0.524837075471 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 645.3 618.680645161 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.2242134517 48.9658058833 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.1304347826 100.406767564 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5652173913 20.6045352989 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.5652173913 5.45110844103 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.335598727846 0.236089414692 142% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.116974591824 0.076458572812 153% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.090505796383 0.0737576698707 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.20578714803 0.150856017488 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0772649465472 0.0645574589148 120% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.3 11.7677419355 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.75 10.9000537634 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.07 8.01818996416 88% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 86.8835125448 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.