Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
In my opinion, giving money in the form of the gift for children's good performance in school is a perfect idea. Here you can see my reasons for this claim.
Firstly, parents teach them if they study well, they will earn money. One of the parents’ concerns about their children is their future job. They know if their children have an appropriate education, they will find an ideal job. So, they try to help them to understand the importance of money and education at the same time by several methods. One of the best styles is giving money for their high mark. Children recognise this fact when they utilise most of their time for learning; they will earn more money .
Second, parents will have responsible children. One of the parents' greatest wishes is having a child who knows how to manage their lives in a correct way. So, some parents disagree to make a very comfortable life for their children because this manner makes them lazy and unresponsive. So, some of them want from their children to work in the summer to gather money for their requirements, and the others, like to our topic, try to show them if they act like responsible persons who know their duty in this age is studying well they can receive money, not by having enjoyable activities with their friends. This manner conducts them to pay attention to their lives and be accountable for their lives.
Finally, rewarding money to the children gives them the sense of authority, and adult. Todays, children's request completely changes. They always want money from their parents to buy several things such as a computer, bicycle , play station, and the others, but they have to buy their favourite thing according to their parents’ idea that sometimes unpleasant for them. In fact, when parents donate money to them, let them purchase what they want. Also, show them this fact, if they act like adult persons who do their assignment on time, parents will behave with them like adult people.
In conclusion, the advantages of this style of donating overwhelm to its disadvantages that prove my claim is valid. In fact, parents with this method provide a suitable situation for their children to be responsible, understand the importance of money and studying, and have this chance to buy what they want.
- Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children. 83
- Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well. 60
- tpo 47 70
- It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. 65
- It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parents’ jobs than to choose jobs that are very different from their parents’ job. 70
Grammar and spelling errors:
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In my opinion, giving money in the form ...
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... you can see my reasons for this claim. Firstly, parents teach them if they stud...
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... for learning; they will earn more money . Second, parents will have resp...
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...r learning; they will earn more money . Second, parents will have responsible ch...
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Suggestion: parents the greatest
...l have responsible children. One of the parents greatest wishes is having a child who knows how...
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...le children. One of the parents greatest wishes is having a child who knows how t...
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Line 4, column 139, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a correct way" with adverb for "correct"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ild who knows how to manage their lives in a correct way. So, some parents disagree to make a ve...
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...ll they can receive money, not by having enjoyable activities with their friends....
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...ves and be accountable for their lives. Finally, rewarding money to the children...
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...veral things such as a computer, bicycle , play station, and the others, but they ...
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...rove my claim is valid. In fact, parents with this method provide a suitable situ...
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...have this chance to buy what they want.
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, if, second, so, well, in conclusion, in fact, such as, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1897.0 1977.66487455 96% => OK
No of words: 390.0 407.700716846 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.8641025641 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44391917772 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51152979552 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 212.727598566 91% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.494871794872 0.524837075471 94% => OK
syllable_count: 564.3 618.680645161 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.994623655914 101% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.1870523241 48.9658058833 137% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.85 100.406767564 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5 20.6045352989 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.2 5.45110844103 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.5376344086 217% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.377615643312 0.236089414692 160% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.130367620785 0.076458572812 171% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0615019141739 0.0737576698707 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.22966812869 0.150856017488 152% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0365970169831 0.0645574589148 57% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 11.7677419355 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 10.9000537634 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.66 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 86.8835125448 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => The average readability is low. Need to improve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.