Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Throughout history, in all civilized societies, the issue of children's studies engendered copious controversies among people. Some people may hold the view that parents should give their children money after getting a high grade. However, some other may take an opposite viewpoint and believe that it is not necessary for parents to inspire children by money for obtaining good grade in school. As far as I am concerned, it is beneficial to offer children money for each high mark by their parents. In the following paragraphs, I will pinpoint the most outstanding reasons.
The first reason worth mentioning is that offering money motivate children to study harder. Nowadays, the development in the technology happening at a very fast pace and this affects children's studies. There are many computer games that children prefer to play with them instead of studying and the fact that they running from study is obvious. For example, one of my friend in school was very clever and always gets a high grade in every study. but after my parents buy me a computer he always come to my place to play computer and this really effect his grade. Hence, his parent told him if he get a high mark in his final, they buy him a computer just like mine and after that he start studying hard again. Also, children learn how to be responsible and when a children accepts that if he get high score her parents give him money, he learn to do what he tolds them and this means he learns responsibility.
A further more subtle point is that children understand if they try hard they accomplish a success. Offering money to children build a concept in their mind that if they try hard they are going to win something incredible and in their future life this helping them to progress in their life. For instance, when I was a child, I always try to focus on my lessons and study really hard to get a great mark and when one time I obtain highest grade in my class my parents give me money and I used the money to buy a bicycle I love. I could not understand why they do this but after growing up, I learn how important lessons they thought me and since then I understand that when I try hard for and arduous work, it enable me to become successful.
To make a long story shorted, based on aforementioned arguments, since offering money to children help them to study harder and help them to make progress and become prosperous in future, it is wise to give them money for each high grade. Consequently, it is recommended that parents told their children with each high mark, they give them money.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 446, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...lways gets a high grade in every study. but after my parents buy me a computer he a...
^^^
Line 2, column 596, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'gets'.
Suggestion: gets
...grade. Hence, his parent told him if he get a high mark in his final, they buy him ...
^^^
Line 2, column 762, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a child' or simply 'children'?
Suggestion: a child; children
...en learn how to be responsible and when a children accepts that if he get high score her p...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 792, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'gets'.
Suggestion: gets
... and when a children accepts that if he get high score her parents give him money, ...
^^^
Line 2, column 838, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'learns'.
Suggestion: learns
...gh score her parents give him money, he learn to do what he tolds them and this means...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 424, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'obtain the highest'.
Suggestion: obtain the highest
...to get a great mark and when one time I obtain highest grade in my class my parents give me mo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 710, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'enables'?
Suggestion: enables
...hen I try hard for and arduous work, it enable me to become successful. To make a lon...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 178, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
... to make progress and become prosperous in future, it is wise to give them money for each...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, hence, however, if, may, really, so, then, for example, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 79.0 43.0788530466 183% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2118.0 1977.66487455 107% => OK
No of words: 461.0 407.700716846 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.59436008677 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63367139033 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52114681673 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.468546637744 0.524837075471 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 648.0 618.680645161 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 50.6704737848 48.9658058833 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.666666667 100.406767564 117% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.6111111111 20.6045352989 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.55555555556 5.45110844103 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.422819998493 0.236089414692 179% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.141953407084 0.076458572812 186% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0910724326044 0.0737576698707 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.275747522274 0.150856017488 183% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0727455230766 0.0645574589148 113% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 11.7677419355 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 63.02 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.64 10.9000537634 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.51 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 86.8835125448 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.