Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea?

The issue of children being rewarded after every good deed including studying and getting good marks is so important. Because it determines the way many people around the world would pick to make the path for their children's success easier. Some might disagree with this idea but according to my point of view such encouragements are indeed so vital in the process of guiding one's children. I, here provide a few number of supports for what i claim.

First, I think that rewarding children because of their good grades is beneficial due to the motivation we make for them to work hard and study sufficiently. In this way, their mindset is altered in a way that establishes a relationship between studying hard, which is a good quality per se, and getting rewarded. For instance, a friends of mine is in the habit of taking his son to a zoo or an amusement park whenever his son shows a good performance in his education. He always describes this move as an exceptionally effective one, because ever since he started to do so, his son's grades have significantly improved. So that's an example of how motivation can affect one's performance in any field, including education.

Second, i think this method will eventually lead to children's higher passion for studying and hardworking. As we all know, people tend to love what they are good at. By rewarding our children with money or every other kind of incentives, we are actually reminding them that this is something at which they are doing a great job. So gradually, a deep feeling of passion toward studying and learning will grow in them and that is amazing for their future. As an example, i want to tell you a memory of mine. I used to hate mathematics when i was at elementary school. Once my cousin who happened to be a year younger than me came to me and asked for my help with his math problems.I, hesitatingly agreed and went for the questions. By each question I was able to answer I was coming to this belief more and more that I am not bad at mathematics at all and in this regard i began to grow passion for math. So to make children believe in themselves doing something, will lead to their interest toward that thing. Therefore awarding them with money for their studies is an amazing idea.

To sum up, i would say that gifting children with what they like, for some good deeds they do, is totally beneficial. For as mentioned above, not only doesn't this motivate them to do those good things more and more, but also it will lead to their tremendous passion toward the decent stuff.That is why i always encourage my close friends and relatives to do so.

Votes
Average: 7.1 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 377, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...deed so vital in the process of guiding ones children. I, here provide a few number ...
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Line 1, column 410, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun number seems to be countable; consider using: 'few numbers'.
Suggestion: few numbers
...uiding ones children. I, here provide a few number of supports for what i claim. First...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 442, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...ovide a few number of supports for what i claim. First, I think that rewardin...
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Line 3, column 329, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a friend' or simply 'friends'?
Suggestion: a friend; friends
...se, and getting rewarded. For instance, a friends of mine is in the habit of taking his s...
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Line 3, column 624, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
... grades have significantly improved. So thats an example of how motivation can affect...
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Line 3, column 670, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...an example of how motivation can affect ones performance in any field, including edu...
^^^^
Line 5, column 9, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
... field, including education. Second, i think this method will eventually lead ...
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Line 5, column 470, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...mazing for their future. As an example, i want to tell you a memory of mine. I us...
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Line 5, column 539, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...f mine. I used to hate mathematics when i was at elementary school. Once my cousi...
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Line 5, column 680, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: I
...sked for my help with his math problems.I, hesitatingly agreed and went for the q...
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Line 5, column 870, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...t mathematics at all and in this regard i began to grow passion for math. So to m...
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Line 5, column 1010, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...ad to their interest toward that thing. Therefore awarding them with money for their stud...
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Line 7, column 12, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...udies is an amazing idea. To sum up, i would say that gifting children with wh...
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Line 7, column 152, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...icial. For as mentioned above, not only doesnt this motivate them to do those good thi...
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Line 7, column 291, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: That
...mendous passion toward the decent stuff.That is why i always encourage my close frie...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, if, second, so, therefore, for instance, i think, kind of, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 68.0 43.0788530466 158% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 52.1666666667 121% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2158.0 1977.66487455 109% => OK
No of words: 469.0 407.700716846 115% => OK
Chars per words: 4.6012793177 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65364457471 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63831167334 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 247.0 212.727598566 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.526652452026 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 672.3 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.8123091745 48.9658058833 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.761904762 100.406767564 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.3333333333 20.6045352989 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.57142857143 5.45110844103 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 15.0 5.5376344086 271% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 20.0 11.8709677419 168% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.32276641089 0.236089414692 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0912834900047 0.076458572812 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0475009751952 0.0737576698707 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.194313004749 0.150856017488 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0310367043473 0.0645574589148 48% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 11.7677419355 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 66.07 58.1214874552 114% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.7 10.9000537634 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.66 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.