In my opinion i agreed with those people who believe that zoos serve useful functions. The zoo is the place that we can see a lot and different kinds of animals that may not seen it before. I was enjoying when i went with my school to the zoo and when took my kids to it, it's really fun. I have many reasons that zoos serve functions:
First of all it's fun place to the whole family, when i took my kids they was enjoying ,they spent whole the day there , we introduced to new kinds ,saw what was seeing in movies or what we heared about them at the school, they loved to pit them or feed them, i was keeping talking about each animal that i was step over it.
Second the zoos are collecting many kinds from different spots of the world. For example we can see the camels differency at the zoos the one of America it's so different from that in Arab Gulf countries which contains two places for storage food and water instead of one. So we can introduce to two or three differents types, the same thing to the bears , we can see the differency of those who are living in cold ares from those living in hot areas , it's really fun , when we can see something that's not seeing before or just heared about it.
Last but not least , zoos take care of the animals , clean them , pitting them, bring them food, protect them from each other, in addition they collect the roads' animals which are sometimes bother us. For instance i was living in city before that had a lot of roads' dogs that were keep shouting all the night i hate that's place , I couldn't sleep well at the night. So these zoos give the human and the animal a big favor.
In conclusion, while there are arguments for both sides of issue, but if it comes to me i see the zoos give high functions for the reasons mentioned above , and the goverments must give a high of care to such areas that give the comunity a lot.
- TOEFL Sample essay : integrated essay from TPO2 80
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What we can put instead of
What we can put instead of may not seen it ???
The zoo is the place that we can see a lot and different kinds of animals
The zoo is the place where we can see a lot and different kinds of animals
it's fun place
it's a fun place
may not seen it before.
Description: The fragment not seen it is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace seen with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
clean them , pitting them, bring them food, protect them
clean them , pit them, bring them food, protect them
Sentence: So we can introduce to two or three differents types, the same thing to the bears , we can see the differency of those who are living in cold ares from those living in hot areas , it's really fun , when we can see something that's not seeing before or just heared about it.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to differents and types
that were keep shouting all the night
that were keeping shouting all the night
Sentence: First of all it's fun place to the whole family, when i took my kids they was enjoying ,they spent whole the day there , we introduced to new kinds ,saw what was seeing in movies or what we heared about them at the school, they loved to pit them or feed them, i was keeping talking about each animal that i was step over it.
Error: heared Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: For example we can see the camels differency at the zoos the one of America it's so different from that in Arab Gulf countries which contains two places for storage food and water instead of one.
Error: differency Suggestion: difference
Sentence: So we can introduce to two or three differents types, the same thing to the bears , we can see the differency of those who are living in cold ares from those living in hot areas , it's really fun , when we can see something that's not seeing before or just heared about it.
Error: heared Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: differents Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: differency Suggestion: difference
Sentence: In conclusion, while there are arguments for both sides of issue, but if it comes to me i see the zoos give high functions for the reasons mentioned above , and the goverments must give a high of care to such areas that give the comunity a lot.
Error: comunity Suggestion: community
Error: goverments Suggestion: governments
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
Don't forget punctuation marks. Some sentences are too long.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 17 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 360 350
No. of Characters: 1475 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.356 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.097 4.6
Word Length SD: 1.993 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 70 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 42 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 26 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.117 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.917 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.383 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.655 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.17 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5