Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better?
There are many debates on the advantages and disadvantages of independence of the young adults from their parents. Some people think that it is more advantageous for young adults to be independent from their parents as soon as possible. On the other hand, some think that it is more important for youngsters to be with their parents as long as possible. I concur with the idea that young adults should be self-dependent as early as possible in their life. I think this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following passage.
To begin with, In this competitive world, the people are dependent on themselves, who can make good decisions on their own and who can create opportunities for themselves without depending on others are more likely to be successful in future. The people who don't depend on others for most of their activities have the confidence to do something worthy on their own. On the other hand, the people who depend on other, chances are more that they will have to face a lot more problems than the self-depend people. My own experience is a compelling example of this. When I came to do my engineering in a good engineering school of Bangladesh in the city of Khulna, I had to leave my parents as my hometown, Thakurgaon, was almost 450 kilometers away from my university. After coming to the university, all on a sudden, I realized that there was no one to help me out if I face any problems. So, I had to take my own decisions, had to face my problems alone as I was living in a distant place from my parents' residence. As a result, after doing all the hard work alone in a distant place for four years, I became a self-dependent person. I realized that I no longer depended on my parents or on my elders to take the decisions of my life. Even, I started earning my daily expenses on my own by teaching in a coaching center. On, the other hand, my sister who lives with my parents in my hometown still depends on my parents while she takes any decision. She even depends on my parents for her daily expenses. I strongly believe that I have more capable of taking any new challenge than my sister only because I got independence from my parents at an early age.
Moreover, I think that if someone lives with his family for a long time, the family members often impose their decisions upon him forcefully. This definitely hampers the mental health of a person if the person does not like the decision of his family members. The example of my cousin brother named Asif can illustrate this point clearly. Asif lives with his family in a small town and depends on his family a lot. Asif, from his childhood, always wanted to be an Engineer. But, his family members wanted to see him as a doctor in the future. So, his father admitted him to a medical college after his high school against his will. Asif had nothing to do but act according to the decision of his family. As a result, Asif could not do well in his studies as he did not want to be a doctor. Moreover, I have come to know that Asif has started to take drugs out of frustration. But, as I left home soon after my high school and have done my engineering in a distant place alone, I have taken my own decision of going abroad for securing a higher degree like masters of Ph.D. I am able to take this decision only because of my independence. No one is able to impose their decision on me.
To conclude, I think that being independent from family as early as possible is more advantageous for young adults. By doing this, they will be able to take their own decisions and will be self-dependent which is very important to be successful in life in future.
- TPO 3 Integrated writing 3
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 233, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...others are more likely to be successful in future. The people who dont depend on others f...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 259, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...be successful in future. The people who dont depend on others for most of their acti...
^^^^
Line 7, column 254, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...very important to be successful in life in future.
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, moreover, so, still, well, while, i think, as a result, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 15.1003584229 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 100.0 43.0788530466 232% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 101.0 52.1666666667 194% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2983.0 1977.66487455 151% => OK
No of words: 671.0 407.700716846 165% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.44560357675 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.08956458786 4.48103885553 114% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63933458492 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 272.0 212.727598566 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.405365126677 0.524837075471 77% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 973.8 618.680645161 157% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 21.0 9.59856630824 219% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 32.0 20.6003584229 155% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.196949537 48.9658058833 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.21875 100.406767564 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.96875 20.6045352989 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.03125 5.45110844103 56% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.270870496818 0.236089414692 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.090204821422 0.076458572812 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.102461735 0.0737576698707 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.219513680495 0.150856017488 146% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.152627715153 0.0645574589148 236% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.0 11.7677419355 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.53 10.9000537634 78% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.08 8.01818996416 88% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 86.8835125448 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.