For a person, young period is the most vital time for developing a career. It is the time when one can able to learn to face real problems to survive life. Hence, some youngs want independence from their families for concerning to build up career. On the other hands, some want to live with their families to support their parents as much as possible. But for some concerns I think independence from family may have more benefits than staying with parents.
Firstly, supporting families is the great task and everyone should to do. In contrast, it kills young most important time which can be used to build a great career. Living with families will make a mesh up and need too much time to control this. More members mean more crowds and more conflicts. In this situation, young will not able to get enough space and time to do their own task properly. It will cost their valuable time and knowledge that can be used in better place. For instance, many young people in our neighborhood stay with their families and they are not able to get time their study enough. Eventually they became a daily worker and are supporting their families. But some others young who live far from their families become a job holder and also support their families good enough from distance.
Secondly, becoming independent is the great steps to go forward. One can fulfill his dream and able to help whole world. In a nutshell, one independent person is available and helping hand for everyone. Without wasting time with the big family they able to give some time to themselves which help to know themselves clearly. For example, most of the great man like Buddhist great man Gautam Buddha spent most of his time to know himself and become originator of the Buddhist religion. So, spending time for own-self is the key to know one's hidden strength.
To sum up, though some may think staying with families is always more appreciable than one's independence, to become a great person and build a good career one's independence always a crucial points. That's why, I think one's independence is more preferable but that's not mean abandoning ones family.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 8, column 88, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...amilies is always more appreciable than ones independence, to become a great person ...
^^^^
Line 8, column 191, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'point'?
Suggestion: point
...reer ones independence always a crucial points. Thats why, I think ones independence i...
^^^^^^
Line 8, column 199, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: That's
...s independence always a crucial points. Thats why, I think ones independence is more ...
^^^^^
Line 8, column 218, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...ys a crucial points. Thats why, I think ones independence is more preferable but tha...
^^^^
Line 8, column 259, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
...nes independence is more preferable but thats not mean abandoning ones family.
^^^^^
Line 8, column 285, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...referable but thats not mean abandoning ones family.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, if, may, second, secondly, so, for example, for instance, i think, in contrast, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 43.0788530466 63% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1769.0 1977.66487455 89% => OK
No of words: 370.0 407.700716846 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.78108108108 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38581623665 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.44872173389 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 212.727598566 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.486486486486 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 540.0 618.680645161 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.1249829716 48.9658058833 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 80.4090909091 100.406767564 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.8181818182 20.6045352989 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.45454545455 5.45110844103 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.392869945745 0.236089414692 166% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.123040776571 0.076458572812 161% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.102626553707 0.0737576698707 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.242971830193 0.150856017488 161% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.142202453503 0.0645574589148 220% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.5 11.7677419355 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.15 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.99 8.01818996416 87% => OK
difficult_words: 60.0 86.8835125448 69% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.