Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well

Many people look for successful people and wonder how they became successful and lots of people try to copy them. Therefore, people try to find a special event or secret that they have become successful in. However, I think successful people do not do something special or do something new, they just keep working hard on their work. I will tell you some reasons with some cases of successful people.
First, We can learn from Son Heung-min who got the top scorer prize.Son Heung-min did not try anything special since he was young or used any other way to succeed. Son Heung-min only worked hard in the field of soccer and looked at it. After all this hard work and earnestness, he was able to succeed. Rather than trying something special like this, it is a gift given to a person who works hard and tries hard.
Second, we can learn from Kim Yeon- kyung, the most famous girl volleyball player in Korea. Kim-Yeon-kyung was very short when she was young, so she was ignored a lot in the volleyball club and practiced picking up balls from underneath. Therefore, after jumping rope like crazy and exercising hard, now she has the most suitable height to play volleyball, which is 192cm. She did not do anything special either, but her desire to be good at volleyball led her to success.
This is all about successful people’s life stories. They have in common been constantly trying and doing their best in one area they like. Therefore, I think that successful people have worked many times harder than ordinary people, it is not doing something special.

Votes
Average: 8 (2 votes)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 69, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Son
... Heung-min who got the top scorer prize.Son Heung-min did not try anything special ...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, look, second, so, therefore, after all, i think

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 43.0788530466 70% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 52.1666666667 63% => OK
Nominalization: 0.0 8.0752688172 0% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1291.0 1977.66487455 65% => OK
No of words: 273.0 407.700716846 67% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.72893772894 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.06481385082 4.48103885553 91% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45350161922 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 163.0 212.727598566 77% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.59706959707 0.524837075471 114% => OK
syllable_count: 374.4 618.680645161 61% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 31.1136983051 48.9658058833 64% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.0666666667 100.406767564 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.2 20.6045352989 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.8 5.45110844103 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.271920088522 0.236089414692 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0964468722157 0.076458572812 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0914916642208 0.0737576698707 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.178709078611 0.150856017488 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.129364294521 0.0645574589148 200% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 11.7677419355 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 58.1214874552 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 10.1575268817 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.15 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.13 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 45.0 86.8835125448 52% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.