TOEFL ESSAY Do you agree or disagree with this statement Pets should be treated like family members

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TOEFL ESSAY: Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Pets should be treated like family members.

Although it is said that "dog is a man's best friend" in some nations, the case is quite different in other countries and cultures. There are reasons why an average American can easily act as a family member towards a pet but an average Japanese cannot. By considering these backgrounds, should a pet be treated like family members? This question can be answered as a result of considering the following categories: family orientations, religious thought toward animals and geographic reasons.

Many people in the world live on their own for diverse reasons. The way an Arab's family is oriented is quite different to a Canadian in the means of the number of family members. This results in having a pet as a family member, because the lack of other family members in one nation, and only a pet as a home kept animal in another. So the way the other members act toward that pet are quite different.

Having a pet might me a common hobby in many countries, but in my homeland Iran, it is not so common. Because of the religious background, many people do not like to share their living room and beds with animals such as cats and dogs.

Last but not least, the availability of different animals in a region makes acting toward them different. In Iran we have a lot of cats around and in Malaysia there are a lot of monkeys. So It is quite easier for an Iranian to have cat in his house and accept him as a family member to have a monkey. The same as having a monkey as a family member in Malaysia might be much more common to having a cat.

When everything is said and done, although many families treat a pet as a family member; but however, pets cannot be treated in many families as members because of the cultural, religious and geographical reasons mentioned.

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Having a pet might me a common hobby in many countries
Having a pet might be a common hobby in many countries

but however, pets cannot be treated in many families
Description: don't put 'however' 'but' together.

flaws:
No. of Different Words: 150 200

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 320 350
No. of Characters: 1409 1500
No. of Different Words: 150 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.229 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.403 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.468 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 110 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 65 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.384 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.36 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.594 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5