TOEFL ESSAY: Do young people enjoy life more than older people?

Essay topics:

TOEFL ESSAY: Do young people enjoy life more than older people?

It is a hotly debated topic that often divides opinion that whether young people enjoy more than the older people. We live in an age where people are so stressed with their work that they do not have time for themselves. In my opinion, I think that old people enjoy more than the young people. I would like to discuss few reasons for my opinion in the following essay.
First of all, it is worth considering that the amount of stress and the burden young people have on themselves cannot be compared to anyone. The young people are so busy in their daily lives that they do not have time for their family, or even for themselves. The youth is so indulged into various activities and responsibilities that they are not able to relax. In the age of the modern complexities,where we live, the person is not able to spare sometime for themselves. The competition among the people has increased stupendous that everybody is running to win the race. The level of competition among children in the schools, job opportunities among the adults have finished the level of enjoyment from their lives. We all are fighting for the jobs, admissions in the best universities that we do not think of even spending time to relax ourselves. For instance, I used to go regularly for the exercise as it helped me relax . Moreover, I had time to spend on myself. But, the level of competition and the improper sleep and routine has made life so busy that I do not get time to spend on myself which also lead to many health issues.
On the contrary many older people at their time did not have much competition. also, they had time for themselves. The proper diet and the routine also keeps a person fit and healthy. As older people get time to spend with their friends, family they are more likely to feel happy. young people do not have time to go for the holiday weekends or on trips which cause them burden . For example, my grandmother not only spends time with her friends but also in her spare time goes to the park. my grandmother likes to go on trips so she soften goes with her friends and family to get rid of her daily routine. On the other hand Students do not get time to play, enjoy with their friends which not only cause them mental problems but also physical problems.
Weighing up both sides of the argument I would like to conclude that the young people are so busy in their lives that they do not get time to spend with themselves or their families which cause them more stressed compared to the older people who enjoy more by going around and spending time with their friends.

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Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 401, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , where
...x. In the age of the modern complexities,where we live, the person is not able to spar...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 630, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...mpetition among children in the schools, job opportunities among the adults have ...
^^
Line 2, column 930, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...y for the exercise as it helped me relax . Moreover, I had time to spend on myself...
^^
Line 3, column 80, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...eir time did not have much competition. also, they had time for themselves. The prop...
^^^^
Line 3, column 245, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...time to spend with their friends, family they are more likely to feel happy. youn...
^^
Line 3, column 283, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Young
...ly they are more likely to feel happy. young people do not have time to go for the h...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 379, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ends or on trips which cause them burden . For example, my grandmother not only sp...
^^
Line 3, column 493, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: My
...lso in her spare time goes to the park. my grandmother likes to go on trips so she...
^^
Line 3, column 536, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'softens'.
Suggestion: softens
...grandmother likes to go on trips so she soften goes with her friends and family to get...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, moreover, so, for example, for instance, i think, first of all, in my opinion, on the contrary, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 11.0286738351 172% => OK
Pronoun: 63.0 43.0788530466 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2109.0 1977.66487455 107% => OK
No of words: 469.0 407.700716846 115% => OK
Chars per words: 4.49680170576 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65364457471 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.41947686724 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.417910447761 0.524837075471 80% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 666.0 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.1413210223 48.9658058833 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.6956521739 100.406767564 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3913043478 20.6045352989 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.86956521739 5.45110844103 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.5376344086 163% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.28753605551 0.236089414692 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.096542964047 0.076458572812 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.10915722962 0.0737576698707 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.230392862307 0.150856017488 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.102581586683 0.0645574589148 159% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.0 11.7677419355 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.82 10.9000537634 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.99 8.01818996416 87% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 86.8835125448 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.