The gift is has a significant effect in our lives. In order to communicate with others, we should sometimes give them a gift for many anniversary such as birhtday, wedding, success and even in birth shower. Some people would agree that when they have received a gift of money, buying tickets to a concret is a good idea since it is more joyful than jewelry. Others would disagree. In my view, when I receive a gift of money, it is better to buy a piece of jewelry for two imperative reasons.
To begin with, jewelry is permanent for long time. You can preserve it for a while, even you can give it to the next generation and it is beneficial to them, so they feel that they have something live forever. Take my mother as an example, when I was younger, I remember that my mom inherited from my grandmother a neckless which is too expensive and nice. It was from old ancestor. Currently, my mother have saved it for a long time. I think it is old than my grandmother herself and it is wealth for now since it contains valuable design, rocks , and gold. In fact, my mom decided to keep this jewelry for me and my sister because it represents our history. So jewelry is still a life for long time, may be years, without changing in its appearance as well valuable, in contrast a ticket to a concert is not valuable and it is just for short time. This experience taught me that jewelry is really worthwhile and permanent for our offspring.
Hence, in addition to permanency of jewelry, it is kind of a safe investment, in case of economic crises. When you be in need of money or in case of losing your work, you can sell your jewelry and use the money to solve many problems that might face you in the future. For instance, I have jewelry which is gold and diamond, I kept it from my salary. Actually, it is kind of something for my future since when I purchased it, I took in my mind to save in a hard time. In 1990, my country had economic depression that really affected our life and we had starvation and famine so i had decided to sell my jewelry and use the money to buy food to keep my family alive. without this jewelry, I couldn't live for long time beacuse it was difficult time. As we can clearly see, jewelry is a good investment to you and your family.
By the way of conclusion, based on argument above, I concur that jewelry is rewarding and widely beneficial to our history and our future. we should have some jewelry to be safe in the future.
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The gift is has a significant effect in our lives
The gift has a significant effect in our lives
for many anniversary such as
for many anniversaries such as
jewelry is permanent for long time
jewelry is permanent for a long time
my mother have saved it for a long time
my mother has saved it for a long time
it is kind of a safe investment
it is a kind of safe investment
When you be in need of money
When you are in need of money
it is kind of something for my future
it is a kind of something for my future
I couldn't live for long time beacuse it was difficult time
I couldn't live for a long time beacuse it was a difficult time
Sentence: In order to communicate with others, we should sometimes give them a gift for many anniversary such as birhtday, wedding, success and even in birth shower.
Error: birhtday Suggestion: birthday
Sentence: Some people would agree that when they have received a gift of money, buying tickets to a concret is a good idea since it is more joyful than jewelry.
Error: concret Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Take my mother as an example, when I was younger, I remember that my mom inherited from my grandmother a neckless which is too expensive and nice.
Error: neckless Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In 1990, my country had economic depression that really affected our life and we had starvation and famine so i had decided to sell my jewelry and use the money to buy food to keep my family alive. without this jewelry, I couldn't live for long time beacuse it was difficult time.
Error: beacuse Suggestion: because
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
You need to argue why not ' tickets to a concert'
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 463 350
No. of Characters: 1935 1500
No. of Different Words: 210 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.639 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.179 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.382 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 120 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.048 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.862 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.619 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.478 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5