TPO-05 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.Use specific reasons and examples to suppo

People are always eager to have a stable life by having lots of wealth as much as possible. In my opinion, I disagree with this statement; and I think people do things they should do than what they enjoy. People who want to save money think of doing the personal enjoyment is wasting. If they can earn more,thus most of people prefer to work instead of playing.

People want to save money a lot as much as possible with shorter time. To reach their goal, they are able to give up their time to spare: such as time for reading, hiking, meeting someone. Students also think playing with friends is wasting time because they can study together.

Most of people think reaching to their goal is important on their happiness. In addition, it is not only for fortune, students give up lots of time not only for enjoying their lives but also keeping their health for their goal as a student. I also give up lots of things for my future: sleeping, playing, even calling with someone.

In conclusion, I believe that people do not do the things that are enjoyable than the things they should do. In other words, they give up leisurely to be a success by reaching to their goal.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 307, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , thus
...oyment is wasting. If they can earn more,thus most of people prefer to work instead o...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 313, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the people') or simply say ''most people''.
Suggestion: most of the people; most people
... is wasting. If they can earn more,thus most of people prefer to work instead of playing. P...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'Most of', you should use 'the' ('Most of the people') or simply say ''Most people''.
Suggestion: Most of the people; Most people
...me because they can study together. Most of people think reaching to their goal is importa...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...g, playing, even calling with someone. In conclusion, I believe that people do ...
^^^
Line 7, column 63, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ve that people do not do the things that are enjoyable than the things they shoul...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, so, thus, i think, in addition, in conclusion, such as, in my opinion, in other words

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 13.8261648746 14% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 3.0 11.0286738351 27% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 25.0 43.0788530466 58% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 52.1666666667 63% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 965.0 1977.66487455 49% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 213.0 407.700716846 52% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.53051643192 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.82027741392 4.48103885553 85% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.25278743925 2.67179642975 84% => OK
Unique words: 111.0 212.727598566 52% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.521126760563 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 283.5 618.680645161 46% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 20.6003584229 58% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 24.9247478534 48.9658058833 51% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 80.4166666667 100.406767564 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.75 20.6045352989 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.33333333333 5.45110844103 153% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.326188734724 0.236089414692 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.146698228801 0.076458572812 192% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.183205960441 0.0737576698707 248% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.2461984452 0.150856017488 163% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.168413112887 0.0645574589148 261% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.8 11.7677419355 75% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 79.6 58.1214874552 137% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.4 10.1575268817 63% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.7 10.9000537634 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.85 8.01818996416 85% => OK
difficult_words: 32.0 86.8835125448 37% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Minimum 250 words wanted.

Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.