TPO-08 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Form a board perspective, in the current states of affairs we face, most companies by means of technological breakthroughs like television advertising aimed at young children for their products like foods, clothes and so forth. Some people may disagree with me, but as far as I am concerned I completely and unquestionably agree that such advertisement ought not to be allowed for young children. The reasons on which my prospect is based will be discussed in details below.
The first reason for this is that such television advertisements will waste money of parents. What I mean to say is that companies manufacture goods with different designs, colors and models to encourage children to purchase their products and because young children could not realize goals of companies, they see these advertisements and do not care about price of products and their brands but they insist on baying those even parents are not agree or have not enough money. Therefore, children force their parents to purchase goods that have been advertised. For example, a friend of mine has a child that see television every day and whenever he likes a product, he compel his father to buy it. My friend could not save money because of his son.
The second and most important reason is that the health of children will be threatened, when they watch food advertising programs. All parents perfectly understand that the ages of two to five are very critical for children to grow and become a healthy adult. Based on a research, most ingredient in these products are sugar, favoring materials, preservative and so on that are harmful to health and have a devastating effect on mental performance and also this food can be the origin of several thorny problems such as overweight, malnutrition, and hypertension. For instance, my nephew is used to consuming a lot of junk food and fruit juices which there is a lot of advertisements about them. As a result, he could not concentrate on his lessons well so that he could not even solve a simple a math question. As a consequence, his grades is very low at school.
To wrap up, as a father I definitely see several grave negative consequences of advertisement which is aimed at young children. Thus, it should not be allowed.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 445, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'agreed'.
Suggestion: agreed
...st on baying those even parents are not agree or have not enough money. Therefore, ch...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 670, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'compels'.
Suggestion: compels
...day and whenever he likes a product, he compel his father to buy it. My friend could n...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, second, so, therefore, thus, well, even so, for example, for instance, i mean, such as, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 52.1666666667 86% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1874.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 383.0 407.700716846 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.89295039164 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.42384287591 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92496728263 2.67179642975 109% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 212.727598566 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.530026109661 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 575.1 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 90.7723586438 48.9658058833 185% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.125 100.406767564 117% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.9375 20.6045352989 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.875 5.45110844103 144% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.184284633609 0.236089414692 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0646965282165 0.076458572812 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0545386377852 0.0737576698707 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.124377041808 0.150856017488 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0313109634065 0.0645574589148 49% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 11.7677419355 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.38 10.9000537634 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.12 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 86.8835125448 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.