Today, a prevalent statement we hear a lot is that children should be banned from video games because they are easily addicted to video games which are full of violence and bad behaviours. A considerable number of opponents, however, argue that what should be blamed is the lack of appropriate education from parents instead of computer games, which could be seen as an ordinary way of entertainment. As far as I am concerned, the latter view seems to align more with my perspective. There are several reasons to support my point of view, however, the following two will suffice here.
To begin with, banning children from playing video games is just a superficial way in education. If a child lacks the ability of self-control, they will easily be addicted to another kind of entertainment soon. What's more, since most of the children today are mature enough to have their own thought, it is impossible for their parents to totally control what they do or not to. For example, a child lives in my neighbourhood was addicted to video games at first. His parents are furious about it and ban him from playing games by threatening with violence and cutting his money. It turns out that this is a poor way of education. The boy then borrows money from his peers in school and played games in internet caf instead of at home. It took a long time for his parents to notice it and the situation had become worse at that time. In this case, we should learn that cultivating children of the sense of self-control with patience rather than banning them from doing something simply is a much better way.
Another reason is that, although we do not gain knowledge from playing computer game, it is not equal to say that playing computer game is a waste of time. For one thing, to win the games, the members of a team need to cooperate with each other closely while perfectly complete their own jobs, which will cultivate the children the spirit of teamwork. For another, since a majority of children are playing computer games today, a child who does not play games will be isolated. He will lose the common topic with his friends and drift away from his circle of friends.
Actually, if we abandon our stereotype of computer games and take these reasons into consideration, we can find that playing computer is just a way of entertainment, which will allow children to gain their social skills and build their social network. As for the dark side of playing games, what we need to do is communication with patience instead of banning.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 212, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
... to another kind of entertainment soon. Whats more, since most of the children today ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, first, however, if, so, then, while, as for, for example, kind of, for one thing, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 15.1003584229 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 52.1666666667 127% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2090.0 1977.66487455 106% => OK
No of words: 444.0 407.700716846 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.70720720721 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5903493882 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59442645226 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.509009009009 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 636.3 618.680645161 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 8.0 3.08781362007 259% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.2587267079 48.9658058833 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.0 100.406767564 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3684210526 20.6045352989 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.52631578947 5.45110844103 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.268338164492 0.236089414692 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.087226388445 0.076458572812 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0695646096088 0.0737576698707 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.178340157511 0.150856017488 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0400427095507 0.0645574589148 62% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 11.7677419355 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 58.1214874552 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.33 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.41 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 86.8835125448 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.