TPO 18 – task 2: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The students are more influenced by the teachers than by their friends.
Friends and teachers are two vital members of our social life. As students, we spend almost twenty years of our life contacting with teachers and friends at school or universities. Some people agree that students are more influence by their teachers than by their friends; however, some others disagree. In my point of view, I support the statement for two significant reasons.
To begin with, the teachers are more experienced than the friends are; hence, the can have a more influence on the students. My friends are almost at the same age as me and they have conducted a same career up to this point in life. In contrast, the teachers have seen the up and downs of life and have overcome countless obstacles to reach their current status. Therefore, they can have a stronger effect on the students and the students can trust their advices.
Beside the above-mentioned reason, the teachers have knowledge that is more practical. A vivid example can be give to shed light on what was alluded to above. Dr. Dabir is my favorite teacher who had the most important effect on my life. In our advanced mathematics class, he used to speak about his experiences during his life as a gradate student at the University of Michigan. Several years ago, since there was no advanced and high-tech computers like current ones, the students have to wait for weeks in order to run a computer code; and unfortunately, there was only one huge, slow computer available at the university in that time. Considering our current facilities at universities such as super-computers, tablets, cell phones, and high-speed internet, he regrets that why students now are so lazy. He used to encourage me to take advantage of these facilities to do a perfect research; otherwise, other students will do.
Finally, in contrast to our friends at school, the teachers are not only honest to us, but also are willing to assist us to become successful persons like themselves. Due to intensive competition between students, even friends, sometimes, betray each other. For example, in the last semester, one of my friends, Fardin, and I decided to study together for our Chemistry final exam. He had two question samples of final exams, but he did not tell me anything about them, because he wanted to study them alone in order to get a higher score in the exam. In summary, I think the teachers have a greater influence on the students.
All in all, although some sophisticated individuals might prove that friends are more influential to students, I reiterate that teachers, based on the arguments in the body paragraphs, affect the students more than friends do.
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are more influence by their teachers
are more influenced by their teachers
the teachers are not only honest to us, but also are willing to assist us to become successful persons
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?
Sentence: To begin with, the teachers are more experienced than the friends are; hence, the can have a more influence on the students.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a modal auxillary
Suggestion: Refer to the and can
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
You told that ' I support the statement for two significant reasons. ', but actually you have three reasons.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 446 350
No. of Characters: 2121 1500
No. of Different Words: 230 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.596 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.756 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.675 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.238 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.36 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.512 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.139 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5