TPO-24 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.Use specific reasons and examples

I partially agree with the statement above. In adult life, one needs to own money by himself or herself, and needs to know how to communicate with different kinds of people. Many of the skills required can not be taught at school, and thus can not be learnt in classrooms. So having a part-time job can teach the youngsters how to be financially independent and how to get along with others.

To begin with, one of the biggest challenges young adults face is to feed themselves and to manage their fortune. Clearly schools can only teach knowledge, and the use of knowledge to earn money can only be learned by practice. By having a part-time job, not only can they experience the hardship to make a living by their own hands, but also can they learn to spend their income in a right way.

Secondly, taking a part time job can teach the youngsters how to deal with others. Student meet friends and teachers on campus everyday, but we should remember that the relationship between people in school is different from that in society. During part-time work, teenagers can meet many different kinds of people, thus picking up some skills on how to get along with others in a equal and friendly way. This is highly valuable for their further development in adulthood.

Nonetheless, one might say that taking a part-time job is likely to distract teenagers and school work should be their priority. Indeed, doing so can interfere with one's study at some level, but it does not necessarily mean that students must totally be barred from working. It is exactly when parents are expected to offer guidance and surveillance. What is more, the students can also learn to arrange their time and to find a balance between study and work at the same time.

In conclusion, part-time job should be encouraged when teenage children are preparing for adult live, as long as it is overlooked by parents.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 381, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a right way" with adverb for "right"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...so can they learn to spend their income in a right way. Secondly, taking a part time job ca...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 20, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...e in a right way. Secondly, taking a part time job can teach the youngsters how to dea...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 128, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...ent meet friends and teachers on campus everyday, but we should remember that the relati...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 285, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
...ring part-time work, teenagers can meet many different kinds of people, thus picking up some s...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 380, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ills on how to get along with others in a equal and friendly way. This is highly ...
^
Line 7, column 166, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...ty. Indeed, doing so can interfere with ones study at some level, but it does not ne...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, look, nonetheless, second, secondly, so, thus, in conclusion, to begin with, what is more

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 43.0788530466 49% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1568.0 1977.66487455 79% => OK
No of words: 329.0 407.700716846 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.76595744681 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25891501996 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58867726618 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 212.727598566 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.525835866261 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 471.6 618.680645161 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.59856630824 31% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.994623655914 101% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.7022491166 48.9658058833 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.0 100.406767564 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5625 20.6045352989 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.5 5.45110844103 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.298930368818 0.236089414692 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.104388887199 0.076458572812 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0595447425496 0.0737576698707 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.181376145233 0.150856017488 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0265769632014 0.0645574589148 41% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 11.7677419355 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.39 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.75 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 86.8835125448 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200

Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.