TPO-28 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents today are more involved in their children’s education than were parents in the past.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Submitted by vhb on Sat, 09/24/2016 - 11:31

Although some people perhaps argue that parents today are more included in their children's learning process, certainly, I agree that fathers and mothers were more involved in their children's education in the past. Some persons can consciously weigh the pros and cons of each side. The explanations go as follows.

First of all, nowadays, parents do not have enough time to aid their children. These days, adults ought to work hard enough to make money and either buy whatever or go wherever their children like or want. They have to start working early in the morning and possibly continue it late at night. Besides, they need to cope with parental duties such as cooking, shopping, baby caring, and house cleaning. It is very necessary for them to spend time and concentrate on their work to handle their tasks correctly. Due to all of these, there is not any free time for parents to contribute children’s education.

Furthermore, lacking of sufficient knowledge and information is another noticeable support. These days, all people experience huge advancement in different field of science and engineering like computer, electronic, mechanic, and chemistry. Even though the world changes rapidly, lots of parents are not up to date with these tremendous achievements and inventions. For instance, most of them cannot handle how to work with smart phones or televisions. Therefore, they do not have enough ability or skill to guidance students about what they need to learn.

Admittedly, there are some justifications by somebody who points out that parent now are more included in their children's training system. Mainly, they are more aware that our educational system is not efficient or it is unlikely to prepare pupils for being prosperous in their future career. However, still I affirm that people now are not involved in their children's educations. For instance, all governments today concern to pass rules to improve educational efficacy or there are many number of research that are aimed to figure out or address mentioned issue. These will remove the necessities for parent to assist their children's training process.

Due to the aforementioned ground, I believe that all adults and pupils should bear in mind that folk now are less involved in their children's teaching procedure. Participating of time limitation and lacking of enough knowledge are two prime and conspicuous reasons.

Votes
Average: 7.2 (3 votes)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 485, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun number seems to be countable; consider using: 'many numbers'.
Suggestion: many numbers
...prove educational efficacy or there are many number of research that are aimed to figure ou...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sist their childrens training process. Due to the aforementioned ground, I beli...
^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['besides', 'but', 'first', 'furthermore', 'however', 'if', 'so', 'still', 'therefore', 'for instance', 'such as', 'first of all']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.23908045977 0.229887763892 104% => OK
Verbs: 0.16091954023 0.158761421928 101% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0712643678161 0.0866891130778 82% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0712643678161 0.046263068375 154% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0574712643678 0.0685040099705 84% => OK
Prepositions: 0.110344827586 0.118717715034 93% => OK
Participles: 0.0298850574713 0.0351676179071 85% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.79605579309 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0436781609195 0.0309702414327 141% => OK
Particles: 0.00459770114943 0.00188951952338 243% => OK
Determiners: 0.0528735632184 0.0887237588012 60% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0114942528736 0.0209618222197 55% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0137931034483 0.0139019557991 99% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2416.0 2387.08602151 101% => OK
No of words: 386.0 408.028673835 95% => OK
Chars per words: 6.25906735751 5.86048508987 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43248042346 4.48200974243 99% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.378238341969 0.338922669872 112% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.29274611399 0.251872472559 116% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.225388601036 0.174417080927 129% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.145077720207 0.112833075102 129% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79605579309 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.567357512953 0.524397521467 108% => OK
Word variations: 65.5195221823 59.2087087015 111% => OK
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6684587814 102% => OK
Sentence length: 18.380952381 20.5533526081 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.6535609528 48.84282405 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.047619048 120.699889404 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.380952381 20.5533526081 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.571428571429 0.644075263715 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.54480286738 36% => OK
Readability: 47.6555637799 45.7405998639 104% => OK
Elegance: 1.30952380952 1.45489161554 90% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.335102055581 0.300154397459 112% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0805398708423 0.103427244359 78% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0484229369022 0.0752933317313 64% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.495530540769 0.497263757937 100% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.122489762178 0.151897553556 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.111889190619 0.114077575197 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0600402881694 0.0781384742642 77% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.260503046262 0.336927656856 77% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.104886393425 0.067059652881 156% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.217258227757 0.210909579961 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.052806449264 0.0618886996521 85% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8870967742 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.86379928315 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.91756272401 203% => Less neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 7.0 8.42114695341 83% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 2.4623655914 122% => OK
Neutral topic words: 9.0 2.75985663082 326% => OK
Total topic words: 19.0 13.6433691756 139% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

flaws:
You have issues on the fourth paragraph. The pattern is not used properly. You don't necessarily use the pattern 'admittedly...' .

The actual patter is like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3
para 5: because of reason 1, reason 2, and reason 3,...so conclusion.

For the reason 3, you can simply put a new reason, same as the reason 1 and reason 2, like: 'Governments today concern to pass rules to improve educational efficacy, and also a lot of programs are available to help students. So parents don't need to involve their children's education today.'

or use a survey for the reason 3: 'A survey studied by Harvard university in 2016 showed that Governments today concern to pass rules to improve educational efficacy, and also a lot of programs are available to help students. Over 80% of parents don't need to involve their children's education nowadays.'

or you can use the pattern 'admittedly...' ....
-------------------
There are different ways to develop reason 3. It depends on which way is easier. Don't fix it to the pattern 'admittedly...'.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 386 350
No. of Characters: 1971 1500
No. of Different Words: 218 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.432 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.106 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.681 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.381 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.506 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.276 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.495 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.044 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

Thanks To TestBig team!

About using or referring to a survey such a following :

'A survey studied by Harvard university in 2016 showed that Governments today concern to pass rules to improve educational efficacy, and also a lot of programs are available to help students. Over 80% of parents don't need to involve their children's education nowadays.'

Somtime, I see that people use a survey that it is not true or is fake, do you think, is it true we use a survey that is not valid??

I mean, how do the TOEFL rater check that mentioned survey is done in Harvard university?