Social networks and new technologies removed meaning of distance between people. By using new technologies people can be in touch with each other any time and in any places. Technology has some harmful effects which is really severe for children. Main dangers of new technology is associated with children's education. In my opinion, educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past. I have two main reasons for holding this opinion which I will mention in the reminder of this essay.
First, children will lose concerntration in studying. Social media and online games are interesting for children. Because they creat artificial world for children and give them authority to do everything that they want. Children always think about the responsibilties that they have in their artificial enviroment. For example, today an special game named "Travian" is common between children. In this game, player has to rule a goverment and manage different challenges in the game enviroment. This will distract concentration of children from focusing on their homework and lessons. It's too early for children to engage with these huge responsibilities.
Second, social networks and online games will waste lots of children times. online games are designed to entertain people. Designer of online games are trying to enhance the visual effects and technology in their games to increase their selling. These games have different steps and it takes a lot of times for players to finish the game. Children spend many hours in playing online games to finish it. Because it is very interesting for them to see the end of journey. For instance, I had a kind of addiction to an story based online game named "Matrix" when I was in high school. I spent 14 hours to finish the game just because I want to see end of the story.
In a conclusion, with the development in technologies and social networks, people became close to each other but these technologies put children in danger. Children waste many times in social networks and online games and using these technology distract them from studying. I think that education is more difficult task today than it was in the past. I hope families will control their children and manage the time that children spend in social medias and online games.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...mention in the reminder of this essay. First, children will lose concerntration...
^^
Line 2, column 336, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...tificial enviroment. For example, today an special game named 'Travian' ...
^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...gage with these huge responsibilities. Second, social networks and online games...
^^
Line 3, column 78, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Online
...ames will waste lots of children times. online games are designed to entertain people....
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 515, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
... instance, I had a kind of addiction to an story based online game named 'Mat...
^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ecause I want to see end of the story. In a conclusion, with the development in...
^^
Line 4, column 230, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this technology' or 'these technologies'?
Suggestion: this technology; these technologies
...ial networks and online games and using these technology distract them from studying. I think th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, really, second, so, as to, for example, for instance, i think, kind of, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 38.0 43.0788530466 88% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1941.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 383.0 407.700716846 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.06788511749 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.42384287591 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.87010139538 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 212.727598566 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.464751958225 0.524837075471 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 603.9 618.680645161 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 24.3416267513 48.9658058833 50% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 74.6538461538 100.406767564 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.7307692308 20.6045352989 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.88461538462 5.45110844103 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.230739443148 0.236089414692 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0813655996974 0.076458572812 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0899610620347 0.0737576698707 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.168325536939 0.150856017488 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0776664829621 0.0645574589148 120% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 11.7677419355 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.27 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.8 10.1575268817 87% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.53 10.9000537634 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.67 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 86.8835125448 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.