TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

I disagree with the idea, parents must not offer their children money for each high grade, that could be one of the most common mistakes nowadays. The new tendencies to bring up the child, cast doubt because the results in the child behavior are not good. Our society needs to understand which mechanism or technics are adequated for to educate raise child's awarenesses about their future. There are three main arguments that can be advanced to support

Firstly, the child could be spoil if parents always give this kind of motivation. Furthermore, if they receive money the motivation is not to get the knowledge and they won't be able to understand its utility as an important tool for education. They will be studying to get money instead for learning. The child will condition his effort by a reward. They could feel frustration when they do not receive money. It is not a way for motivation the child is been manipulated.

Secondly, why to reward something that really it is an obligation. Children do not have more obligation in their lives, therefore, they must be focused on this objective of life. For that reasons is necessary to learn that they have to reach a high score because not only to study even to be a good student with a score of quality is a benefit for their selfs.

Thirdly, explain why is necessary to achieve a good scholar marks since, in the end, is part of their future is determined through receiving goods marks. For example, not all the parents have the financial support to offer University studies their child. Some cases the students get scholarships due to good marks. The benefit is for the students, additionally receiving a high education they will be able to get a better job. That is the objective, why they are studying? for a better future instead of only money from parents.

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Grammar and spelling errors:
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...guments that can be advanced to support Firstly, the child could be spoil if par...
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... quality is a benefit for their selfs. Thirdly, explain why is necessary to ac...
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...s the objective, why they are studying? for a better future instead of only money f...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, furthermore, if, really, second, secondly, so, therefore, third, thirdly, for example, kind of

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 13.8261648746 14% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 29.0 43.0788530466 67% => OK
Preposition: 34.0 52.1666666667 65% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1514.0 1977.66487455 77% => OK
No of words: 317.0 407.700716846 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.77602523659 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.21953715646 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58308195619 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 168.0 212.727598566 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.529968454259 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 467.1 618.680645161 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.183958879 48.9658058833 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.1111111111 100.406767564 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6111111111 20.6045352989 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.11111111111 5.45110844103 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.264899513622 0.236089414692 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0857488796095 0.076458572812 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0568245978843 0.0737576698707 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.169307098727 0.150856017488 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0198896959376 0.0645574589148 31% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 11.7677419355 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.15 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.77 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 86.8835125448 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.