TPO-46 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and exam

The main concern in today's world is how parents could raise their children more efficiently. There are numerous debates on this subject. It has been proven that working parents should spend their spare times with their children doing fun stuff, like playing games or sports; while others may disagree. This essay will illustrate the importance of playing games with children and its merits.

First, playing games could make strong bonds between parents and their children. Since in our times it is hard to find enough time to spend with our family and loved ones, this solution may benefit both parents and their children enormously. For instance, when I was a child, most of a time I was alone. It wasn't easy for me since both of my parents were very busy and I hardly ever see them until I was ten. I remember I was spending time with different people on various occasions. They were mostly my father's friends or their families. The only silver lining that I could draw out of those gloomy days is the time that my father and I spent together doing entertaining things. For instance, I recall that when I was about seven years old, we had a tradition. My father and I would pack our stuff containing a vast sheet, and we go to the parks near our place and pick berries. It was very enjoyable, and I have great memories doing these activities with my father. It actually helped me to forgive him for leaving me alone in those years. Moreover, I mostly remember these fun memories rather than those gloomy ones. These activities could repair the damaged relationships in families.

Second, Playing sports could benefit children's brain. I read an article a while ago about how activities like playing games and sports could benefit people, especially children, and it could help them achieve better harmony between their brain hemispheres. Furthermore, they could concentrate better and work more effectively in their classes, and they could earn better grades. For instance, when I was in 5th grade in school I wasn't active enough. I would rather spend time in my room at my computer than playing with my friends in the park. I was feeling a little depressed at the time, and my grades weren't that great too until I entered the elementary school of Khatam. We had to assign for sports activities, and they had made us have regular activities. We sometimes had to do them with our parents, and they would play with us too. In sum, I had engaged in activities that eventually helped me earn better grades and helped me to have better functionality at my works.

One of the disadvantages of today's world is that most of the people are too busy to spare time with their family and especially their kids that need their attention. Playing sports and game could amend parents relationships with their children and help kids improving their learning process at school and gain good grades. That is why it is advisable to do such activities with children.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 308, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...a child, most of a time I was alone. It wasnt easy for me since both of my parents we...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 430, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...ce, when I was in 5th grade in school I wasnt active enough. I would rather spend tim...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 605, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: weren't
...le depressed at the time, and my grades werent that great too until I entered the elem...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, first, furthermore, if, may, moreover, second, so, while, for instance

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 9.8082437276 184% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 13.8261648746 174% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 94.0 43.0788530466 218% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2446.0 1977.66487455 124% => OK
No of words: 513.0 407.700716846 126% => OK
Chars per words: 4.76803118908 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75914943092 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47817707893 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.456140350877 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 728.1 618.680645161 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 21.0 9.59856630824 219% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.6003584229 141% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.8874158765 48.9658058833 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.3448275862 100.406767564 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6896551724 20.6045352989 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.75862068966 5.45110844103 51% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0875596069067 0.236089414692 37% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0297415726574 0.076458572812 39% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0350163686825 0.0737576698707 47% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0621965755385 0.150856017488 41% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0107164828968 0.0645574589148 17% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 11.7677419355 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 71.14 58.1214874552 122% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.09 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.13 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 86.8835125448 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.