TPO-49 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends

There is no shortage of debate about whether it is more essential for young people to learn the ability to organize and plan or not at the recent complicated life. In my opinion it is better for the youngsters to have the experience to organize, plan and create. I feel this for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

First of all, the progress and the influence of technology make the new world become so complicated. There is a great competition between the people to have the better job and the good carrier. So, the people should learn how to organize their day and put a schedule to able them to challenge the recent circumstances. My own experience is a compelling example of this. I am married and I have two kids. Simultaneously, I work in a famous hospital at the scientific research department. In order to obtain higher professional career at my work, I have to exceed my academic qualification. So, I prepare for taking the doctoral degree, and really it is very hard for me to make all this duties between work, home and my study. Hence, I have put a schedule for organizing my day. At the morning I going to my work and finish my tasks first, I take a permission from the manager to work in the laboratory for my research. while I am going to take my kids from the school, I listen to the lectures as I asked my friends to borrow their records. Then, I will have the time to take care of my children. In addition to that, I cook the food from the night. Indeed, organizing my time gives my the chance to complete all my duties.

Secondly, the young people have the capability to plan create more than the adult or old people. In order to that, the government should provides programs to benefit from their qualifications to compete the rapid advanced world. For instance, the ministry of education at my country prepares an educational scientific program at the summer. The program provide the sharing student with all the instruments and budget to create new inventions like design a mobile applications for help the people to shopping online or booking for traveling or at hotels, as they have no time for doing this things.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that it is better to teach the young people how to organize and plan, in order to make progress for their community and their live and carriers.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 682, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...ally it is very hard for me to make all this duties between work, home and my study....
^^^^
Line 3, column 794, Rule ID: I_AM[1]
Message: Did you mean 'I am'?
Suggestion: I am
...e for organizing my day. At the morning I going to my work and finish my tasks fi...
^
Line 3, column 920, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: While
...work in the laboratory for my research. while I am going to take my kids from the sch...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 138, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[2]
Message: The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: 'provide'
Suggestion: provide
...In order to that, the government should provides programs to benefit from their qualific...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 354, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'provides'.
Suggestion: provides
...ific program at the summer. The program provide the sharing student with all the instru...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 464, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'application'?
Suggestion: application
...ate new inventions like design a mobile applications for help the people to shopping online ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 586, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
... hotels, as they have no time for doing this things. In conclusion, I strongly be...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, hence, if, really, second, secondly, so, then, while, for instance, i feel, in addition, in conclusion, first of all, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 15.1003584229 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 51.0 43.0788530466 118% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1934.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 421.0 407.700716846 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.59382422803 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52971130743 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72293578541 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 212.727598566 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.482185273159 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 613.8 618.680645161 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.5706566428 48.9658058833 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.9090909091 100.406767564 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1363636364 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.27272727273 5.45110844103 115% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.119215582072 0.236089414692 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0356261861281 0.076458572812 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0360667412961 0.0737576698707 49% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0857759210722 0.150856017488 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0301111475437 0.0645574589148 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 11.7677419355 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.34 10.9000537634 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.92 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 86.8835125448 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.