TPO 54 Writing Independent
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
As far as employment and health are concerned, I strongly hold that governments should divert their investment to athletics. It is hard to deny that money can make artists better, and such a fact leads impressionable people to generate the opinion that governments should spend more money on supporting arts than athletics. However, such a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies, and it should be examined meticulously.
First and foremost, invest money in athletics can create more jobs, as athletes need professional coaches otherwise they find difficulties in improving themselves, and doctors are necessary for healing and recovering. Meanwhile, sports can increase economic growth by build a platform for sponsors and TV stations. Not to mention that athletes need arenas and sports centers to compete in. A lot of jobs will be offered due to athletics, which makes great progress for the economy.
Furthermore, sports can make people healthy. Take the case of LeBron James, who is a famous NBA player and an idol for many people. People play basketball instead of playing games at home, they exercise to get stronger and healthier because they would like to be a person like LeBron. Lebron also told people to never give up when you face troubles, which encourages people and builds better mental health too. Spending more money on athletics will make people be more healthy.
It is known that arts are often obscure and abstract. An artwork may concern about many aspects of life. It is hard to educate great artists. however, spending money on athletics will pay off quickly and significantly. With more money, athletes can get better educations and nutrition, so they will improve their skills and health to achieve better results.
In a nutshell, I maintain that governments should invest money on athletics instead of the arts. Admittedly, as my favorite quote from James Madison goes, as long as the reason of man continues fallible, different opinions will be formed, and some people may oppose me. However, I believe they will compromise after being exposed to my article.
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2020-01-19 | behzad ranjbar | 85 | view |
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- TPO 54 Writing IndependentDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support yo 76
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 126, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...d divert their investment to athletics. it is hard to deny that money can make art...
^^
Line 1, column 325, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...oney on supporting arts than athletics. however, such a statement suffers from both log...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 133, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: People
...NBA player and an idol for many people. people play basketball instead of playing game...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 412, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Spending
...le and builds better mental health too. spending more money on athletics will make peopl...
^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
... will make people be more healthy. it is known that arts are often obscure an...
^^
Line 13, column 106, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...may concern about many aspects of life. it is hard to educate great artists. howev...
^^
Line 13, column 143, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...e. it is hard to educate great artists. however, spending money on athletics will pay o...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, however, if, may, so, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 9.8082437276 204% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 43.0788530466 58% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 52.1666666667 71% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1783.0 1977.66487455 90% => OK
No of words: 343.0 407.700716846 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.19825072886 4.8611393121 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.30351707066 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70317580484 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.586005830904 0.524837075471 112% => OK
syllable_count: 535.5 618.680645161 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 49.5074741832 48.9658058833 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.15 100.406767564 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.15 20.6045352989 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.65 5.45110844103 49% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.177417669132 0.236089414692 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0517248736114 0.076458572812 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0648006048429 0.0737576698707 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.101556448099 0.150856017488 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0675528075104 0.0645574589148 105% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 58.1214874552 93% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.58 10.9000537634 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.76 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 86.8835125448 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.