TPO 8 independent

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TPO 8 (independent)

Submitted by farzaneh on Sun, 05/31/2015 - 14:12

As people regard technological devices as an essential part of life more and more how does it contribute in children creativity? When it comes to this issue, I mean the effect of today’s technology on creativity; the attitude differs from one person to another. Some people hold the views that it has negative impact on our children's creativity, while others firmly believe that it improves the rate of creativeness among children. In my perspective, technology plays a positive role in enhancing creativity. I would like to reinforce my opinion by some important reasons.

First, if we suppose that the aforementioned statement is not correct, so why we would not have this amount of progress in technology before, I mean we have this much improvement in our society today, for the sake of having a creative nation in comparison to past. Take industrial revolution as an example, after that we have numerous inventions, which proves that their creators have creative open-minded brains. Obviously, after that revolution the major difference that took place in the world was that jump that we have in technology.

Second, actually the “technology” help us realize our creativeness. Nowadays depending on technology, we could be optimist that one day our dreams will come true. Eventually we could think farther than our in hand technics. In particular, some TV programs arouses our curiosity to a large extent, as we see or heard something special on a program , we would think about some other aspects of it and in that way we are unconsciously trying to improve our creativity. Moreover, we have the internet with huge amount of information at hand, which could quickly reply to any unanswered question that comes to our mind. Considering all discussed these are a good source that help us develop our imagination. Take my little brother as an example, I remember that I bought an electrical game as a gift on his fifth years old birthday, at first he just go through the instructions to assemble a circuit, but after playing for some time he himself design one! That was great for a child in that age.

From what I have discussed above, we could draw the conclusion that, definitely technology improves people creativity and vice versa. As far as I am concerned we just have to cherish what we have possessed and endeavor to take the most advantages as possible from the recent technological improvements to enhance our society to a better world to live in.

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As people regard technological devices as an essential part of life more and more how does it contribute in children creativity?
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

it has negative impact
it has a negative impact

actually the “technology” help us realize our creativeness.
actually the “technology” helps us realize our creativeness.

Sentence: From what I have discussed above, we could draw the conclusion that, definitely technology improves people creativity and vice versa.
Description: The fragment , definitely technology is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace definitely with adjective
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and creativity

Sentence: Eventually we could think farther than our in hand technics.
Error: technics Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
Need to put complete essay topics next time.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 414 350
No. of Characters: 2001 1500
No. of Different Words: 232 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.511 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.833 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.822 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 109 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.503 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.389 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.33 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.514 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.24 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

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