TPO21 Independent A D For success in a future job the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school

From my own perspective, I am afraid I have to disagree with the statement that the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school since I think they are on the same importance level. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will illuminate in the following essay.

First of all, academic skills are the foundation of collaboration. As we all know, the independent thinking is of vital importance for every individual who have the passion to make a massive contribution to his team. Where does the independent thinking come from? Your academic understandings. My experience is a compelling example of this argument. I used to participate in modeling contests during my college years, which requested me to sign up in a team. And I could still remember my debut. I just entered into my field with nearly bare hands: I didn't have any basic skills for this contest or even the programming skills that could boost efficiency when solving mathematics questions. As a result, my teammates were exhausted. Not only did they finish overdue jobs due to me, but they also had to direct me with huge patience. Although we finally submitted a successful paper, I still could not feel a sense of achievement since I felt like a idiot who didn't contribute anything to this teamwork. Therefore, I disagree with the statement interpersonal skills outweigh academic skills.

Secondly, studying hard and interacting with others are not paradoxical, we can do both of them simultaneously by learning in a group. For instance, I would like to continue to relate my last story. My teammates did not exclude me after my terrible debut performance. And I felt so guilty that I listened to one of my teammates to concentrate on improving my programmer technique. The most important part was that we still registered for a bunch of contests since then. It was not just a motivation for all of us to focus on our own bussiness, but it offered us a opportunity to practice how to conquer a project within a group, as we should do in the future career. Surprisingly, I realized that I had made a magnificant progress on both sides. So I think they are both essential for our future career development.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that studying hard in university is as important as communicating skills. This is because the basis of collaboration is the problem-solving ability, and because the university can actually provide the environment for us to do both of them.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 552, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...into my field with nearly bare hands: I didnt have any basic skills for this contest ...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 948, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... sense of achievement since I felt like a idiot who didnt contribute anything to ...
^
Line 4, column 960, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...hievement since I felt like a idiot who didnt contribute anything to this teamwork. T...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 563, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...on our own bussiness, but it offered us a opportunity to practice how to conquer ...
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, if, second, secondly, so, still, then, therefore, well, for instance, i feel, i think, in conclusion, as a result, first of all, i am afraid

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 65.0 43.0788530466 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 59.0 52.1666666667 113% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 8.0752688172 211% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2066.0 1977.66487455 104% => OK
No of words: 425.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86117647059 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54043259262 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.08410008858 2.67179642975 115% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.531764705882 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 664.2 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 53.0070586233 48.9658058833 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.0833333333 100.406767564 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.7083333333 20.6045352989 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.375 5.45110844103 135% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.219299990091 0.236089414692 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0495471417394 0.076458572812 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0761790704321 0.0737576698707 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.152458137286 0.150856017488 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.103997208148 0.0645574589148 161% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.3 11.7677419355 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 58.1214874552 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.61 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.34 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 86.8835125448 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.