What change would make your hometown more appealing to people your age? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Essay topics:

What change would make your hometown more appealing to people your age? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Overall, People travels around the world looking for beautiful places, big histories or either to meet another’s persons. Due to this, some places attract most part of the society by for offer ing to them what they are searching for. My hometown (João pessoa) is famous for to have Its amazing beaches and hospitality community. However, the public security and investments on tourism are poorly. Thus, if I had a chance to change something in my hometown, it would probably be about tourism investments and public security.
Young age persons looking for safety places to hang out with family and friends. This period of life is characterized for have by Its amounts of college parties, changes of hormone, and less careful in relationships. Because of this, when youngers come out of their house, they need to a social environment compounded by freedom, security and happiness to express themselves and live the best moment of their entire life. João Pessoa does not have not most part of this appealers, which is bad for anyone that wants to enjoy everything that the city could provide.
In Addition to this landscape, the govern investments on tourism infrastructure makes the city attractiveness decay. We do not have famous museum, movie theater or either a big city event such as the São João of Campina Grande. This make the couture of João Pessoa do not be valorized for people of another’s states, countries and local community.
Taken these things on consideration, I firmly belief that improvements on security and tourism infrastructure could attract people of all ages to my hometown.

Votes
Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
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Essays by user matheusgrif :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 24, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Overall, People travels around the world looking for beautiful p...
^^
Line 1, column 281, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...My hometown João pessoa is famous for to have Its amazing beaches and hospitality...
^^^
Line 2, column 10, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...stments and public security. Young age persons looking for safety places to han...
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Line 2, column 287, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rs come out of their house, they need to a social environment compounded by freed...
^^
Line 2, column 454, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tire life. João Pessoa does not have not most part of this appealers, which is ba...
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Line 2, column 469, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
... Pessoa does not have not most part of this appealers, which is bad for anyone that...
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Line 3, column 32, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...ovide. In Addition to this landscape, the govern investments on tourism infrastructure m...
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Line 4, column 6, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
..., countries and local community. Taken these things on consideration, I firmly ...
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Line 4, column 47, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... these things on consideration, I firmly belief that improvements on security and...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, look, so, thus, in addition, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 15.1003584229 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 25.0 43.0788530466 58% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 52.1666666667 69% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1353.0 1977.66487455 68% => OK
No of words: 265.0 407.700716846 65% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10566037736 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.03470204552 4.48103885553 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88031088864 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 159.0 212.727598566 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.6 0.524837075471 114% => OK
syllable_count: 425.7 618.680645161 69% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.6003584229 63% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.6374685424 48.9658058833 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.076923077 100.406767564 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3846153846 20.6045352989 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.76923076923 5.45110844103 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.5376344086 163% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0788572878829 0.236089414692 33% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0304173572129 0.076458572812 40% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0279103985358 0.0737576698707 38% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0551385131377 0.150856017488 37% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0230681023125 0.0645574589148 36% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 11.7677419355 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.74 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 86.8835125448 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

More content wanted.

Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.