Community is a place where enormous amount of people are living. Each of them have their own desires for their community. I also have a desired point for my town. In my opinion, I wish for settling the recreation place for youth. Here are two reasons about it.
First, if friends and I want to play, we must go out of our town every time. There is no place to do something such as activity in my town. Plus, when we go out of our town, we must pay a bus fee and subway fee. It also takes a long time to wait for the bus. Furthermore, the outside of our town is a huge place. Everyone including adults, aged, even strange people are there. Of course, it has a little possibility that someone will get harm, but it doesn’t mean that there is no possibility. So it is too dangerous for students to go out of our town.
Second, students can be prevented from being juvenile delinquents. Commonly, students who became juvenile delinquents learned bad habits with their friends from a place that is far from their home. However, if they can play in their village, it becomes easy for their parents to care for their children on what they do. So juvenile delinquents will decline.
In the end, I want to improve the place where children can play if I have a chance to change. First, it is dangerous for youth to play outside of their town. Second, students can be prevented from being juvenile delinquents.
- TOEFL integrated writing The sea otter
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Success comes from possessing money and power Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer 70
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer 52
- At the end of the Triassic period 200 million years ago, there was a mass-extinction event that caused the extinction of more than half of all living species. It was this extinction event that allowed dinosaurs to become the dominant species for the next 78
- Some people think that family is the most important influence on young adults Other people think that friends are the most important influence in young adults Which view do you agree with Use examples to support your position 73
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, second, so, of course, such as, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 13.8261648746 22% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 36.0 43.0788530466 84% => OK
Preposition: 29.0 52.1666666667 56% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 1.0 8.0752688172 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1153.0 1977.66487455 58% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 258.0 407.700716846 63% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.46899224806 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.00778971557 4.48103885553 89% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47228796867 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 137.0 212.727598566 64% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.531007751938 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 359.1 618.680645161 58% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 12.0 20.1344086022 60% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 26.5414298786 48.9658058833 54% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 57.65 100.406767564 57% => More chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 12.9 20.6045352989 63% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.45 5.45110844103 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0620865929857 0.236089414692 26% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0231291545598 0.076458572812 30% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0283109452327 0.0737576698707 38% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0433703275127 0.150856017488 29% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0202385660521 0.0645574589148 31% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 6.1 11.7677419355 52% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 76.22 58.1214874552 131% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 5.6 10.1575268817 55% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 7.76 10.9000537634 71% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.25 8.01818996416 78% => OK
difficult_words: 33.0 86.8835125448 38% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 5.0 10.002688172 50% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 6.8 10.0537634409 68% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.