You have the opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks.
Which country would you like to visit? Use specific reasons and details
to explain your choice.
This is an exciting opportunity for me. I like to visit many foreign countries like Italy, Germany, China and etc, but in my view if I should choose just one foreign country, I definitely want to visit Australia. Australia is a wonderful country with many attractive places. In this trip I have this chance to visit some well-known universities and professors, go to the natural places such as Tasmania’s jungles and learn about the culture and society of Australian’s people.
In the first day of this trip, I go to the three or four top universities in Australia such as University of Melbourne, RMIT University, Monash University and etc. In these universities, I want to have some meeting with expertise professors in computer science, and talk about their recent researches and academic projects. In these meetings, I can learn new and novel researches in computer science fields, such as machine learning, bioinformatic, social network and other related topics. In addition to these meetings, I go to the computer labs and talk with some PhD students about the university’s condition and campus facilities. With this visit, I have opportunity to choose the best university and professor, to pursue my study in computer science.
In the second step of this trip I go to the some beautiful natural environments of Australia. There are many jungles, rivers, mountains and other beautiful places for tourists. In the first I will go to the Tasmania’s jungles, to visit wonderful trees and animals, in these jungles I can go to the river and swim or go to the nice mountain for see a great vision of these natural environments. In near to the Tasmania, I will visit some protected lands, for go to some surprising places, such as caves and valleys.
In all part of this trip, I have opportunity to talk with new people and learn about their cultural rules, as maybe in the future I migrate to the Australia for study and live, this is an important point for me to ready for live in Australia. Walk in the parks or go to the coffee shops are appropriate solutions to learn about the human societies of Australia and their cultural rules. I like to know that how people communicate with each other in Australia, and how they respect to their neighborhoods.
This is great opportunity for me to visit a foreign country, I choose the Australia for this trip because of several reasons. First, for going to the Australian universities and talk with some of professors and PhD students of computer science, in these meetings I can learn about the atmosphere of universities and choose the best place for pursue my studies. Second, to visit the natural places. In Australia I go to the beautiful environments such as jungles, mountain, river and also the protected land. Finally, this trip give me an opportunity to know about the cultural rule of Australian’s society.
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Sentence: In the first I will go to the Tasmania's jungles, to visit wonderful trees and animals, in these jungles I can go to the river and swim or go to the nice mountain for see a great vision of these natural environments.
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to for and see
Sentence: First, for going to the Australian universities and talk with some of professors and PhD students of computer science, in these meetings I can learn about the atmosphere of universities and choose the best place for pursue my studies.
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to for and pursue
This is great opportunity
This is a great opportunity
Sentence: Finally, this trip give me an opportunity to know about the cultural rule of Australian's society.
Description: The fragment trip give me is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace give with verb, past tense
flaws:
Some duplicate words or sentences. Look:
No. of Words: 488 while No. of Different Words: 177
Don't need to list reasons at the introduction or conclusion.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 488 350
No. of Characters: 2317 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.7 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.748 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.771 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 150 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 122 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.686 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.383 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.559 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.094 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5