Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The government should support artists rather than allow them to support themselves.

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The government should support artists rather than allow them to support themselves.

Most of artists devote themselves to their life undertaking, the art, which enrich our normal human being's psychological life and should be considered as significant to the development of our civilization. For instance, the music will cause us when we are deep in sorrow or lonely. We could also get enjoyment by appreciating the paint or the dance. Unfortunately, artists, who create those excellent works, are always confront the problem of poverty or facing the dilemma of choosing to focus on the art or making efforts of making money. From my own perspective, it's the government should take the responsibility of supporting the artist's life. I would like to explore my two fundamental ones as follow.

For one thing, since the innovation of art usually demands concentration, there's no doubt that the artists cannot be annoyed by the problem of how to make money. Every achievements require our efforts. As a normal individual, hardly can we long for too many things. Only by focusing on one main pursuit, can we probably make the great achievement. On the contrary, if we are struggling to catch too many aims, we would certainly gain nothing at all. What's more, to create the art needs great efforts. For example, a Chinese painter named Qi Bai Shi has spent plenty of time on painting thousands of oil painting, even though just a few of them become world famous. It's common for artists to confront the situation of create of a great number of works but just a few become well-known, that is because the great work definitely demands tremendous practices. In conclusion, concentration serves as the required characteristics of the artist.

For another, it's a common phenomenon the artists often live in poverty so that they need the help from the others. Take the artist's distinguished perspective into consideration, they couldn't be inspired to making those great works. Unfortunately, it is just their difficult viewpoint made it difficult for them to make friends with others or success in the business. In addition, if the artists can become famous when they are young, they are possible to raise themselves. Rather, it's not uncommon for the artists to be famous when they are alive. The majority of the artists we know today are found genius after their death. Take Vincent van Gogh as an example, he live all his life in poverty, he had to reply on his brother for neither did he find a job for long-term nor he have sold any painting. What's more, for the purpose of enlarging the variety of the art hence improve our spiritual world and civilization, the government is supposed to support the artists.

Admittedly, some lucky artists are capable of making their own lives, but the majority of the artist are concerned about the problem of poverty since the creation of art demands concentration and just few of them can make money by themselves. In conclusion, the government should take the responsibility of helping the artists with their expense.

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the music will cause us when we are deep in sorrow or lonely
the music will cause us happy when we are deep in sorrow or lonely

artists, who create those excellent works, are always confront the problem
artists, who create those excellent works, always confront the problem

Every achievements require our efforts.
Every achievement requires our efforts.

to confront the situation of create of a great number of works
to confront the situation of creating of a great number of works

he had to reply on his brother for neither did he find a job for long-term nor he have sold any painting.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 12
No. of Words: 501 250
No. of Characters: 2416 1200
No. of Different Words: 251 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.731 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.822 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.755 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 169 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 126 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.04 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.219 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.48 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.269 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.412 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4