Integrated essay: AIDS medication
AIDS is a disease that has killed millions of people all over the world. Most of the cases of AIDS in the world are in poorer countries where the people can’t afford to buy the drugs that would help keep them alive and healthy. Many AIDS Advocacy Groups (AAGs) are trying to help the people in these developing countries get the health care they need to fight AIDS. AAGs are doing this in several ways.
First of all, they argue that the profits of these companies are too high and such high pricing is immoral in the face of such a devastating disease. AAGs believe that major drug companies should sell their AIDS medicines at a much lower cost so that AIDS patients who have very little money would not have to choose between buying their food or their medication.
Second, AAGs are trying to get governments to pay for AIDS drugs instead of individual people. In general, when buying in large quantities, the price goes down. Therefore, if a government bought enough medication for all the AIDS patients in its country, then the price per bottle of medication would be much lower than the price individuals currently pay when buying medication on their own.
Third, AAGs are beginning to encourage poor countries to make their own cheap versions of AIDS drugs, even though it is illegal to do so. If the drugs were made in the same country, this would not only reduce shipping costs, but it would also give many people jobs in these poorer countries.
The reading passage talks about few solution that should be adopted by the poor country in order to help their population to buy necessary medication to treat AIDS. However, the professor explain that those solutions are not feasible and refutes each of the author's reason.
First, the article states that the profit of the pharmaceutical companies which sell the Aids drug are too high and they cannot be afforded by the patients. The professor refutes this reason by stating that the pharmaceutical companies function as any other business,. If they wouldn't make a profit, there will not be investitors, money and hence no new drugs can be developed.
Second, the article claims that governments should buy the drags because they will get a lower price by purchasing large quantities. However, the professor argue this point by saying that the governments in poor countries are poor too. They will not have money to spent on the huge amounts of AIDS drugs.
Third, the reading passage avers that the poor countries should be encouraged to make their own cheap version of the drug even though this is a felony. The lecturer opposes this argument saying that this is considered a stilling. Moreover, the manufacturers in poor countries will not have money to produce their drugs in a proper way. They might use tainted chemicals and do not perform the quality control tests on the drugs in order to produce the cheap version of the medication. These, instead of helping people might kill them.
The reading passage talks about few solution that
The reading passage talks about few solutions that
the professor explain that
the professor explains that
the professor argue this point
the professor argues this point
should buy the drags
should buy the drugs
Sentence: They will not have money to spent on the huge amounts of AIDS drugs.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and spent
Sentence: The professor refutes this reason by stating that the pharmaceutical companies function as any other business,. If they wouldn't make a profit, there will not be investitors, money and hence no new drugs can be developed.
Error: investitors Suggestion: investors
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 12 12
No. of Words: 252 250
No. of Characters: 1218 1200
No. of Different Words: 134 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.984 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.833 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.503 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 63 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 36 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.863 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.349 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.583 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.058 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4