the reading passage was about a painted full length portrait picture of famous Jane Austin - sohrab

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the reading passage was about a painted full length portrait picture of famous Jane Austin - sohrab

In this set of material the reading passage was about a painted full length portrait picture of famous Jane Austin, who is the one of the most famous English writers. On the other hand, the listening passage was a lecture by a professor, which disagree with mentioned information in the reading passage.

According to the reading passage, recently, partial painted of a teenager girl, which was painted by a professional painter, who was one of the Austin member, is showed up for sale. According to the passage, there are some strong reasons which confirm that the woman in the picture is famous Jane Austin. To explain more, the passage mentioned three important reasons. First of all, someone in the Austin's family let someone else to use the portrait in an edition of the Jane's letter; as a result, the picture may be related to Jane. In addition, the face in the picture is related to a teenager girl; therefore, because the Jane was famous, the picture is related to her. Finally, painting is unsigned but there are many evidence form Austin's family, who confirm that the image is related to Jane.

According to the listening passage, professor mentioned some reasons, which are in contrast with reading passage. First of all, family members who confirmed the picture is related to Jane were not existed at that time. In addition, there were some other girls, who were teenager by the time the Jane was.

Overall, mentioned information in the reading passage have conflict with the mentioned information in the listening passage.

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by a professor, which disagree with mentioned information
by a professor who disagrees with mentioned information

a teenager girl, which was painted by a professional painter
a teenager girl who was painted by a professional painter

flaws:
The correct pattern:

para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3

Don't need to reiterate the contents of reading passages or as less as possible.

Don't need a conclusion paragraph.

Read sample essays from ETS:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 12
No. of Words: 259 250
No. of Characters: 1240 1200
No. of Different Words: 106 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.012 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.788 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.438 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.583 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.639 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.447 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.621 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.143 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4