TOEFL Sample essay : integrated essay from TPO 11

Essay topics:

TOEFL Sample essay : integrated essay from TPO 11

Submitted by Mahyar on Wed, 06/28/2017 - 02:41

In this set of materials, the reading passage claims that literature has been read lesser than the past by people, especially by young people, and provides three reasons of support. However, the lecturer finds all the ideas dubious and presents some evidence to refute them all.

First of all, the author of the passage states that reduction in reading public leads to miss out advantages of intellectual stimulation which are resulted from reading literature. Conversely, the lecturer brings up the idea that people who do not read literature books read other ones. They might be reading science, history and political book with high quality and creativity which help them to improve their intellectual imaginations. This means that people can stimulate their imaginations by using other types of book, not only by literary books.

Furthermore, it is mentioned in the article that nowadays people are inclined to watch movies instead of literature readings like novels, thus it effects their culture negatively. On the contrary, the professor draws attention to the fact that culture has been changing and people spend their time on multimedia such as music and movies which are as creative as literary books. In addition, she deeply believes that some of these multimedia speak more directly about contemporary cultural concerns in comparison with the literary books. So, they have a beneficial effect on culture.

Finally, the reading passage asserts that there are limited financial supporters for the literature authors due to the lack of standard audiences. In contrast, the speaker disproves the idea because of the fact that the authors' inclinations to write complicated readings lead to the lack of readers and it is not resulted from the fact that they are not standards. That is to say, the scarcity of financial supporters is caused by the author's reading styles instead of the readers' features.

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Average: 8 (1 vote)
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Integrated TOEFL Writing

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 192, Rule ID: BECAUSE_OF_THE_FACT_THAT[1]
Message: This phrase is redundant. Use simply 'because'.
Suggestion: because
...ontrast, the speaker disproves the idea because of the fact that the authors inclinations to write compl...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
conversely, finally, first, furthermore, however, so, thus, in addition, in contrast, such as, first of all, on the contrary, that is to say

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 10.4613686534 115% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 5.04856512141 40% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 7.30242825607 96% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 12.0772626932 124% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 22.412803532 120% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 45.0 30.3222958057 148% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 5.01324503311 120% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1613.0 1373.03311258 117% => OK
No of words: 306.0 270.72406181 113% => OK
Chars per words: 5.27124183007 5.08290768461 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18244613648 4.04702891845 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70526065606 2.5805825403 105% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 145.348785872 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.552287581699 0.540411800872 102% => OK
syllable_count: 498.6 419.366225166 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 3.25607064018 184% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.116997792494 0% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.23620309051 97% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 2.5761589404 155% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 13.0662251656 99% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 21.2450331126 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.7259653296 49.2860985944 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.076923077 110.228320801 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.5384615385 21.698381199 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.7692307692 7.06452816374 152% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 4.19205298013 24% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 4.33554083885 185% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 4.45695364238 67% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.27373068433 47% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.399548832525 0.272083759551 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.136148520214 0.0996497079465 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0848164648544 0.0662205650399 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.22968502093 0.162205337803 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0533722266589 0.0443174109184 120% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 13.3589403974 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 53.8541721854 89% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 5.55761589404 202% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 11.0289183223 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.58 12.2367328918 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.8 8.42419426049 104% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 63.6247240618 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.7273730684 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.498013245 107% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.2008830022 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.