TPO 28 Integrated Writing Task
The reading passage explores the credibility of Robert Peary’s expedition to the North Pole, and several pieces of evidence are given in support of this argument. Although these points seem reasonable, the lecturer cast doubt on them for the following reasons.
First of all, the lecturer acutely identifies the weakness in the investigation of the committee mentioned in the article. The lecturer argues that this committee, which checks the records and equipment of Peary’s trip is not only not objective but also composed of several of Peary’s close friends who have donated lots of money to this trip. Furthermore, she mentions that this investigation is carried out for only two days and as Peary declared, the records aren’t examined carefully. Thereby, the lecturer suggested that this investigation isn’t trustworthy.
Second, even though the reading passage suggests that an explorer named Tom Avery also carries on the trip to the North Pole in a way that is similar to Peary, proving that Peary is able to complete the travel in such time, the lecturer argues that it is a misconception. This is because Avery doesn’t travel in an entirely identical way. For example, the cargo that Avery carried and the weather that Avery encounters are quite different from Peary’s conditions. As a result, the lecturer asserts that Avery’s trip can’t provide support for Peary’s trip.
Last but not least, the lecturer indicates that the photographs mentioned in the article in an attempt to serve as potential evidence of Peary’s trip are taken with a furry and primitive camera. Moreover, due to some decayed parts of the photo, the lecture believes that these blurred shadows on the photo are not capable of being used to acutely calculate the position of the sun. Accordingly, without precise measurement, we can’t be confident that these photographs are taken at the Pole.
flaws:
No. of Words: 309 250
Write the essay in 20 minutes.
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 13 12
No. of Words: 309 250
No. of Characters: 1536 1200
No. of Different Words: 161 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.193 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.971 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.626 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.769 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.281 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.692 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.358 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.358 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.156 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 4