TPO 46 Integrated Writing
The reading asserts that medical records have been stored on paper in the past, and many efforts have been made so as to store these information on electronic devices. Afterward, the author mentions some of the pros of this approach. The lecturer, on the other hand, cast doubt on the advantages mentioned in the reading.
The reading brings up the idea that this approach would be more cost efficient in terms of the money that spend on storing and transferring data. Furthermore, the author states that we would need a lot of space to store the papers, and accessing to each of them would be time consuming and impractical. On the contrary, the lecturer, repudiate the claim by the author by stating the fact that the doctor would still need to store to paper copy of the information. Therefore, they should pay for a space to store this information.
Secondly, the reading highlights the idea that having electronic medical records play a prominent role to avoid medical errors due to illegible hand writing, and etc. and believes that this problem can be tackled using electronic records. Conversely, the lecturer, dismiss the idea by stressing the fact that they cannot reduce medical errors due to the fact that doctors still use pen and paper to examine patients, and later, staff should interpret this data and enter the information into electronics devices which do not reduce caused by misinterpretation or illegible handwriting.
Finally, the reading asserts that electronic medical records can be a real aid for medical research by providing researchers with a large number of data that has been gathers because of electronics devices. In contrast, the lecturer holds the view that this approach would not be able to help, due to the fact there are many strict laws that would not let doctors to access data readily, and they need permission so as to access to the data of patients. Moreover, in some cases the patient can block the use of their data for medical purposes, unless for their own medical treatment.
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flaws:
No. of Words: 342 250
Write the essay in 20 minutes.
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 20 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 12 12
No. of Words: 342 250
No. of Characters: 1647 1200
No. of Different Words: 159 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.3 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.816 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.531 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.679 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.379 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.379 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 4