Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In order to success in a job, people have to develop different skills in their life. Some people agree that the most important skill is to know how to relate with others. However, many persons support that studying hard in college will ensure success in their future work. In my view, people should work and study hard during school to succeed not only in the work environment, but in life.
First, studying hard in university let people with more knowledge. Jobs want to hire people because the amount of information and knowledge they have obtained through their life, so it is more important experience and ideas rather than communicating between people. For example, when I started my first job as a Vet technician, I did not get along with my co-workers right away. However, my boss wanted me due to my skills and abilities. Back in Venezuela I studied hard to be a Veterinarian. My grades were the results of those hours I spent studying and learning. When my boss saw my score and resume, he knew I did have the knowledge required for the position, and he hired me immediately. If I got poor grades and lacked of knowledge because of being lazy at school, I would not be able to get the job.
In addition to being able to have more knowledge, people also when studying hard create more habit of pursuing goals. Many persons go to college with just one goal in mind, study to graduate. Companies are looking for people able to set up a goal and reach it. For example, the Mac Company hires people only if they know this person has potential. They know in advance if a person has studied all his life to graduate as programmers, they will work in the apple hard as well. To be successful at work, first a person has to demonstrate his capacities in their school. Thus, companies will not hire a lazy person who has not the habit of studying hard in the college. In other words, working hard in school, and working hard in the jobs is strictly related. A person must be successful in his study to succeed later.
To conclude, I believe studying hard in school is far more important than the ability to relate with people. Through college people get knowledge, and develop habits of setting and reaching goals, which are essential to success in future job. Moreover, companies know that a person who efforts years before will be a successful person for their company
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In order to success in a job,
In order to succeed in a job,
In order to be successful in a job,
so it is more important experience and ideas rather than communicating between people.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
people also when studying hard create more habit of pursuing goals.
Description: what is the verb for this sentence? can you re-write this sentence?
Sentence: First, studying hard in university let people with more knowledge.
Description: The fragment university let people is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace let with verb, past tense
Sentence: Moreover, companies know that a person who efforts years before will be a successful person for their company
Description: A WH-pronoun, nominative is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to who and efforts
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 423 350
No. of Characters: 1897 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.535 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.485 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.386 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.187 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.467 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.091 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5