2. People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
The author of the statement above believes that much of the people’s behavior is out of their own volition and it is the forces from without dictating such behaviors. To address this issue, we should approach conscious behavior and unconscious behavior separately. While these forces have a determining role in the unconscious behavior, they only influence our conscious behavior, not as a determiner.
To begin with, the forces not of our own making determine our subliminal behaviors. Since these sorts of behavior are responses which our consciousness is not involved with them, they take shape by the other involuntary factors. To illustrate, consider that when our eyes is exposed to an intense light, it closes, or when we feel cold we unintentionally begin to tremble. Think also about the snoring behavior in sleep. While the breathing in the sleep is kept on by a subliminal pattern, it goes beyond the control of individuals not to snore in the bed.
Furthermore, in many of our conscious decisions, such forces play important roles. They make us apt to do certain behavior, as well as they push us away from other kinds of behavior. Such predilections are dictated in our genome. For instance, as foods rich in fat during the evolution of the human species was scarcer than the other nutrition, such as protein, the fat food “taste better” for us as it is the genome that gives satisfaction when we eat fat. Such predilections in our feeding behavior, our social behavior, sexual behavior, and so on, exist and influence our behavior.
However, when we come to the conscious behaviors, the ultimate determiner is ourselves not any forces from without. In exercising our conscious volition, we judge and analyze our behavior before doing them. This is the reason why people are responsible for their acts. If the people were not responsible for their behavior then all the law system would be questionable. Here the forces from without only can influence us and tempt us to do certain things. After all, the human power of will has proven stronger than any extrinsic force in the crucible of tortures. It is enough to see those who go on a food strike, despite their body voraciously want them to have something, continue the strike to the death point. Therefore it is the power of will which is stronger than any forces from within or without in our conscious behavior.
In sum, people's behavior is consisted of conscious and unconscious. In the unconscious part it is the forces from without that rule people's behavior. But when it comes to conscious behavior, no matter how much other factors play their part, people's reason and judgment are behind their behavior and they are responsible for their behavior.
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flaws:
We had the doubt about your conclusion about 'conscious and unconscious'.
We'd like this kind of conclusion:
'people’s behavior is determined either by his environment or by his own will. Which one takes a leading role depends on one’s attitude as well as willpower and thereby discriminate the accomplishment of individuals.'
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 458 350
No. of Characters: 2209 1500
No. of Different Words: 211 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.626 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.823 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.662 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 149 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.083 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.031 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.542 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.503 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.146 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5