The following appeared in a memorandum written by the assistant manager of a store that sells gourmet food items from various countries:
“A local wine store made an interesting discovery last month: it sold more French than Italian wine on days when it played recordings of French accordion music, but it sold more Italian than French wine on days when Italian songs were played. Therefore, I recommend that we put food specialties from one particular country on sale for a week at a time and play only music from that country while the sale is going on. By this means we will increase our profits in the same way that the wine store did, and we will be able to predict more precisely what items we should stock at any given time.”
The assistant manager of a store of gourmet foods concludes that profits can be increased by selling wine during sale period. In other words, the manager is trying to say that in order to increase profits, a local wine store is the best example to be followed. In this way we would put sale of food specialities of that particular country and play only music from that country while sale is going on. However, the conclusion relies on assumptions for which the author does not supply clear evidence.
The assistant manager assumes that the way the local wine store sold more French than Italian wine on days when it played recording of French music, but it sold more Italian than French wine on days when Italian songs were played is bit more unrealistic assumption. However, the manager did not provide any data to support his argument and also it is not confirmed that playing music of that particular country during would work while the sale is going on. Also, people who wants to buy things from gourmet store whether they play that particular music or not, people will definitely buy it.
In addition, the assistant manager is assuming that it can increase its profits of gourmet food by studying the discovery of a local wine store is not possible. First of all, there is no link between the strategy that are being used in selling wine and manager's assumptions in regards to increasing profits by following those strategies at gourmet store. Second the managers assumption is based on the last month discovered by a local wine shop. It would have been supported if the manager used these strategies if it was quiet old and many gourmet store have benefitted out of them. So the assistant manager's assumption is not supportive to the argument provided.
Finally, the manager is saying in order to earn profits use the same way that the wine store did and in this way we will be also able to predict more precisely what items we should stock at any given time. However, there are many other ways through which the manager can increase its sale like by using demographical survey the manager can better understand and better able stock up things in more logical way.
In conclusion, to strengthen the argument if the manager would have given any sales figures of a particular store is earning profits because of the playing of country music during sale would be more convincing to support the memo. Also, the manager comparison with the wine store is not supportive and the example provided is also not applicable with the gourmet store of the manager. So, the memo relies too heavily on unsupported assumptions that are difficult to be convincing.
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flaws:
You should not doubt those data. The data or evidence from the text should always be considered to be correct. Need to find loopholes instead. for example:
'the products that the food seller has are different from those of the local wine store. The wine buyers should not be treated like food buyers.'
more arguments: suppose it works for food products too, but it may not work because of different time, different location...
read a sample:
http://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-essays/following-appeared-memorandum-wri…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 459 350
No. of Characters: 2161 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.629 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.708 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.445 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.45 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.941 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.367 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.576 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5