Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most businesspeople are motivated only by the desire for more money.

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most businesspeople are motivated only by the desire for more money.

As some people may hold the view that the money is the only factor, which motivates the businesspeople; however, some others may take an opposite viewpoint and believe that there are varieties of the aims and elements that arouse the businessmen’s attitude to do their task. I personally agree with the second belief. In the other word, as far as I concerned human beings personalities acquire the wills, which are beyond the money. Among the countless reasons which can support my idea, I will delve into the most conspicuous ones, which persuade me to put forward this perspective.

The first exquisite factor to be mentioned is the motivation by social prestige. Each individual is willing to gain the best education and becomes the well-learned person. In this case, by best train the chance of a decent job in his future life is more guaranteed. The inspiration for a high-level occupation in the future is not only for it salary but also for its social prestige. Every one inclines to be respectful in the society, and one of the main factors which considers as comparison value is the occupation that a person hold. If the career is high-level, that person is more respectful than the man with ground-level job. Because, it is a holistic belief among the public that at least cognitive ability of well-educated person is more than uneducated person. Thus, this feature requires more admires and respects.

The second factor, one should take into account this significant fact that humankinds enjoy to be helpful and beneficial. In this scenario, a person with standard feature and will is more eager to be helpful to others; in fact, the job owned by each individual can be account as responsibility to be useful for other individuals. According to the noteworthy refreshingly intelligible statistics released by a recent research conducted in our country, in the community with well-educated and well-earning population, more than a sixty five percent of the people's frame of mind is more beneficial and they are keener to be useful in the society.

Although the aforementioned factors are the first ones which cross one's mind at first, they are by no means the only elements available. Actually, another subtle point which should be borne in mind is the internal satisfaction. One of the main features of a normal person is the desire of the mobility; he is not willing to stand in specific spot for ever. The motivation of enhancing and fortifying the state is one of the main elements that leads to be successful businessman. If a person will not be responsible for this basic need, he will suffer from the lacking self-esteem; besides, he will not able to satisfy his demand.

To wrap it up, all aforementioned reasons and examples lead us to the conclusion that there a lists of the components that are responsible to inspire a businessman; that was the story in the nut shell. There are some other features and aspects challenging the claim which are not mentioned above. By and large I highly believe that more aspects beyond the money are responsible to this condition.

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2015-10-24 samah ae 73 view
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Sentence: As some people may hold the view that the money is the only factor, which motivates the businesspeople; however, some others may take an opposite viewpoint and believe that there are varieties of the aims and elements that arouse the businessmen's attitude to do their task.
Error: businesspeople Suggestion: business people

flaws:
No. of Words: 521 350 //the big problem of the essay is 'verbose'. You only need to develop around 350 words.

for example, you can remove at least 50% of words in the introduction paragraph.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 521 350
No. of Characters: 2514 1500
No. of Different Words: 246 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.778 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.825 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.832 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 168 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 67 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.652 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.548 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.565 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.276 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.493 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.091 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5