Statistics gathered over the past three decades show that the death rate is higher among those who do not have jobs than among those with regular employment. Unemployment, just like heart disease and cancer, is a significant health issue. While many health care advocates promote increased government funding for medical research and public health care, it would be folly to increase government spending if doing so were to affect the nation’s economy adversely and ultimately cause a rise in unemployment. A Healthy economy means healthy citizen.
The argument above states that unmployment just like heart disease and cancer is a significant health issue. It is stated that from a research that was conducted over the past three decades it has shown that the death rate was higher amongst those who were not employed. According to the argument the government must not spend a lot of money on medical research and public health care as this will increase unemployment and that in turn will increase the death rate.
From the argument there are many assumptions that have been made. Firstly, the author talks about a research that was conducted over the past three decade. From this research it is said that the death rate was higher to those who do not have jobs than those with regular employment. These statistics do not give a clear picture of what was happening. A lot of questions can be asked regarding the statistics. Were this people out of the jobs because they were sick and were not able to work or these people developed these sicknesses after they had lost their jobs. By having answers to such questions a conclusion can be drawn with supporting evidence. The statistics gathered does not reflect anything on what could have been the cause of unemployment.
Secondly, the author says unemployment is a significant health issue like heart disease and cancer. For such a conclusion to be drawn a lot of factors have to be considered. Looking at disease like cancer and heart diseases, these diseases these diseases are almost incurable and if they can be cured the treatment is expensive that it way above the reach of many. So for the author to say it is a significant health issue i think its exaggerating the effects of unemployment.
Thirdly, the author says its folly to increase the government spending on medical research and public health issues if this will lead to unemployment. In actual fact if more medical research in not done to improve public health this will hit back on the government. Death rate will increase because of poor health facilities, even the diseases that can be cured will be killing people.
Furthermore, if unemployment is a serious health issue more research has to be done comparing different societies and how the levels of unemployment have affected the well being of that society. Because if we are to say that the government has to give has much attention to unemployment as to that of cancer and heart disease. For unemployment to be classed in the same class as those diseases more evidence has to be provided.
In conclusion, since a healthy economy means a healthy citizen more evidence is need to support the argument that indeed unemployment is becoming a health issue that has to be given attention like cancer and heart disease.
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Sentence: The argument above states that unmployment just like heart disease and cancer is a significant health issue.
Error: unmployment Suggestion: unemployment
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- OK
argument 4 -- duplicated to argument 3
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 471 350
No. of Characters: 2236 1500
No. of Different Words: 193 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.659 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.747 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.604 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 111 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.409 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.849 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.455 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.313 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.542 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.075 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5