Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People are spending too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they do to do-doing than doing things they should do.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
There is no doubt; our generation lives in a vast technological improvement which plays a pivotal role in our lives. Some people think with that technology; they can enjoy- doing things they like to do rather than do their responsibilities. In contrary, others disagree. As far asI am concerned, I agree with the second position. I think this technology makes our lives more complicated in many ways. Unfortunately, people, these days work longer hours, and they do not have free time for themselves. Also, if they have few free time they used if for doing other things than enjoyment. And, our lives is very expensive. Clearly, nothing is for free in our generation. Following is a brief interpretation to my perspective.
First of all, any job these days needs from it employee to work at least forty hours a week. Which means every worker leaves his/her house before 6 A.M. and back home after 7 P.M. Do you think people have that free time to enjoy themselves. A good example for that is my family. My husband and I work twelve hours a day and waste three hours among the traffic. Our daily life is only our jobs. We do not have free time for enjoyment what we like to do, most ordinary people utilize that time for doing their daily life responsibility. For example, when I have a weekday off, I spend that day in doing necessary things for my family and my home. Such as: cleaning, shopping from the groceary store or go for doctor visit, and sometimes participate at school parent activities for my children.
Last but not the least, the technoloy creates a lot of places and matertials to have fun. Starting from the advanced amuzement parks ending with video games in the X-box or our gadgets devices. However, we have to pay for every thing. We have to pay for our parking lot, for our admition and for every game we use. I do not think those enjoyment things would be affordable for every person in our generation. Most of us, prefer to spend that free time for relaxing rather than having fun. Our daily hours working is enough for paying our monthy bills, morgage and our food. Any extra money we have need to be saved for an emergency.
Based on the factors I discussed above, I think we do not have time or money to waste it for having fun and most of our young adults are busy and hard workers. Therefore, I disagree with this satement.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: As far asI am concerned, I agree with the second position.
Error: asI Suggestion: as
Sentence: Such as: cleaning, shopping from the groceary store or go for doctor visit, and sometimes participate at school parent activities for my children.
Error: groceary Suggestion: grocery
Sentence: Last but not the least, the technoloy creates a lot of places and matertials to have fun.
Error: matertials Suggestion: materials
Error: technoloy Suggestion: technology
Sentence: Starting from the advanced amuzement parks ending with video games in the X-box or our gadgets devices.
Error: amuzement Suggestion: amusement
Sentence: We have to pay for our parking lot, for our admition and for every game we use.
Error: admition Suggestion: addition
Sentence: Our daily hours working is enough for paying our monthy bills, morgage and our food.
Error: morgage Suggestion: mortgage
Error: monthy Suggestion: month
Sentence: Therefore, I disagree with this satement.
Error: satement Suggestion: statement
flaws:
1. No. of Words: 425 while No. of Different Words: 222 //We are expecting:
No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
it means it is not developed efficiently. specially the introduction is wordy.
2. No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
3. There is 'First of all, ', 'Last but not the least,', but where is the content for 'second'?
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 425 350
No. of Characters: 1872 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.54 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.405 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.402 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 97 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 65 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.179 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.98 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.393 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.286 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.286 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 68, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ussed above, I think we do not have time or money to waste it for having fun and ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, second, so, therefore, at least, for example, i think, no doubt, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 63.0 43.0788530466 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 40.0 52.1666666667 77% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1932.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 424.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.55660377358 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53775939005 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53617034549 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.533018867925 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 609.3 618.680645161 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.994623655914 101% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6003584229 136% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.235238823 48.9658058833 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 69.0 100.406767564 69% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.1428571429 20.6045352989 73% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.17857142857 5.45110844103 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.277147950297 0.236089414692 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0852383142363 0.076458572812 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.133096473472 0.0737576698707 180% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.200266995635 0.150856017488 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.103017700037 0.0645574589148 160% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.6 11.7677419355 65% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 73.17 58.1214874552 126% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.8 10.1575268817 67% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.58 10.9000537634 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.36 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 86.8835125448 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.